


The Crossfire

by Occhiolysm



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Intrigue, Love Triangles, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-12 14:39:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 29,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11739141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Occhiolysm/pseuds/Occhiolysm
Summary: When international relations between Amestris and Xing start crumbling, Ed finds himself caught in the middle of a conflict between two of the most important world leaders.  The complicated part?  They're both his exes.[Takes place six years post brotherhood]





	1. Chapter 1

Ed dropped into a barstool with exactly zero grace."Whiskey on the rocks," he barked to the bartender, who nodded.Ed took a deep breath and ran his hands through his bangs, smoothing the hair out of his face.He'd had a shit day, one that had narrowly avoided being a _very_ shit day.Hell, it didn't matter anymore.It was over, and tomorrow morning he was getting on a train to Central.He was going home.

The bartender returned with his drink, but hesitated just before handing it to him."Can I see an ID?"

"Fuck you, seriously?" grumbled Ed, patting his coat pockets to find his wallet.He fished it out and held up his ID in front of the bartender's face."I've been drinking for six fucking years."

  
"Alright, sorry, man.Just gotta make sure."

Ed bit back a scathing retort and took his drink.He swigged it back and thought about Al.In a few days he'd get to see Al, and he could definitely make it until then.

"Bad day?" the bartender chanced, glancing at Ed with a knowing ruefulness.

"Bad _lay_ ," Ed said, sighing.

The bartender had good enough sense to quit with the questions, and wandered off to see to other patrons.

Ed just wanted to be home.As refreshing as it was to finally be back in a place where they spoke his native language, South City was boring as shit.He was glad he only had to spend one night here.Then again, before he got to see Al, he'd have to see _him_.Ed was definitely going to need another drink.

Ed was most of the way through his second whiskey when he heard a snatch of conversation from further down the bar.Just one word, but it was enough to make him snap to attention: "fullmetal."

Ed migrated a couple of seats down, his curiosity thoroughly peaked.Two men were in casual conversation, and he heard them say it again: "fullmetal alchemist."

"Hey, what about the Fullmetal Alchemist?" said Ed, catching their attention.

The men seemed unperturbed by his sudden intrusion into their conversation.

"Well, they say he's back in business.Goes by the 'Sandstorm Alchemist' now."

Ed couldn't help a snorted laugh."The Sand—what?That's bullshit."  
The man shrugged.

Ed scowled in annoyance."But he's not in the military anymore.I mean, right?So why the hell would he be calling himself anything?"

The other man chimed in."I don't know if he's calling himself that, or if it's just what people started calling him, y'know?But it is him.My cousin heard from a guy that was traveling in the East and saw him with his own eyes.You know, long blond hair, alchemist, his name was definitely Elrich or something."

Ed blinked at them as realization dawned.Then he turned and sniggered into his drink, the sound coming out dangerously close to a giggle.

"What are you laughing about?" one of the men asked, screwing up his face.

"No, nothing.Thanks."

Ed moved back to his original spot at the bar and swirled around his drink, staring into the amber liquid as it swung in perfect circles."Oh Al," he muttered to himself."What're you up to this time?"

  
Ed was lucky that he was only a little bit hungover the next morning.It had been well worth it for the comfortable bleariness the evening before.He wasn't a big fan of bumpy train rides any more than the next person, but he'd learned to tolerate them over the years, as they were one of the only fixtures in the ever-changing landscape of his life.Settling into his unforgiving wood seat by the window of the train car was oddly comforting, because he knew where the train was taking him.He didn't usually get sentimental for home like this, but he didn't usually stay gone this long, either.

The train ride was an annoying number of hours, but between dozing and working his way through the book he brought along, he forgot to keep track.It was a thick treatise on the origin and mechanics of the universe, and was simply titled "On Time."The title always amused Ed, because it reminded him more of catching a train than quantum physics.It had been in circulation for a couple years, but Ed had avoided it up till now because it seemed hokey; however, he'd briefly dated an Aerugonian student a few weeks ago who'd insisted that he at least give it a go, so here he was.It wasn't as bad as he'd expected, but he had to admit that he was still a bit out of his depth with physics.He was trying to get into it.

The train pulled into Central Station when the sun was riding high in the sky.Ed gathered up his luggage—just an old beat-up leather trunk and a satchel for his books—and emerged onto the warm platform.He was struck primarily by the smell; Central was a gross city with gas pollution and tons of people, so naturally the scent of the air had nothing on the Aerugonian Coast.But it carried with it such a strong sensation of home and friends and…a certain person.It was an emotional smell, which was an absurd concept, but somehow accurate.

There was no one to pick him up from the station, and he contemplated walking the distance home before deciding to get a cab.He should probably stretch his cramped legs, but the thought of hauling his luggage all over the city wasn't super inviting.

A few years ago, he and Al had settled into a condo-type residence; not quite a house, but not an apartment either.It was a good size for them; big enough to be comfortable, even when Winry or May Chang was visiting, but modest enough to justify the rent even when they were away from home for months at a time.They had pondered living outside of Central, but it wasn't practical, as that was where Al had attended university, and Ed's work was most accessible in the city.

He stopped for takeout on the way home; a necessity, since there was likely to be not a morsel of anything edible in the house, and he was starving.

Ed _didn't_ get sentimental about home.He loved traveling, and he didn't like being anchored anywhere.Home was a place where you stopped in every so often as an interlude to the interesting parts of your life; it was, by nature, boring.

But he couldn't deny that he got a slightly warm feeling in his chest as he twisted his keys in the lock and threw open the door to his and Al's home.He even allowed himself a small sigh of relief.The place was a bit dusty and empty, but it smelled like Al, like their books, like their clothes, like their life.Ed was happy that he had a place to come back to.

Locking the door behind him, he dumped his bags and shed his coat and boots.Wandering into the living room, he chuckled to see a book, open and upside down on the coffee table.He distinctly remembered the last time he was here, eight or nine months ago, thinking that he had time to finish it before he needed to leave to catch his train, and in the end giving up and setting it there for when he got back.He didn't know what he'd been thinking; he didn't even remember what it was about, now.

Ed almost didn't know what to do with himself.He wasn't used to this kind of privacy.After some deliberation, he settled on a warm bath to soothe his aching automail port, using the time to get further into his book from the train.Afterwards, he brushed his hair out for a bit longer than was entirely necessary, and dug into his takeout.Damn, he wished Al had been able to get the earlier train in time for the wedding.It was Havoc's wedding to a woman named Rebecca Catalina; Ed remembered meeting her once, and he'd been told that she played a role in the Promised Day fiasco, as well as being a close friend of Riza Hawkeye's, so he figured she was probably awesome.And it was the least he could do.Sometimes he regretted that his vagabond lifestyle took him out of the lives of his old friends, and he would be glad for the chance to catch up with them.He always got along well enough with Jean.

Of course, his vagabond lifestyle wasn't so much responsible from his prolonged absences from Central as was…a certain person.For the first few years of Ed's travels, he had found his way back to Central every two or three months, sometimes more.Most of the time it was because he needed to make use of the labs in Central for new projects and experiments that he couldn't keep his nose out of, but he enjoyed seeing his friends, too.He'd gotten closer to Riza and Falman and Kain, and…really, all of them.Oh, and _much_ fucking closer to a certain bastard.And when that had gone south, it had just been harder to come home.He still managed to sneak lunch with Riza every few months, and corresponded semi-regularly with Maria Ross, but it had been years since he'd seen the bastard.Well, precisely twenty-nine and a half months, actually.

He found that it only diminished his excitement for the wedding marginally, though.He wouldn't let the bastard ruin his night.Besides, it wasn't like things were _bad_ between them, they were just…awkward.Ed was determined not to let it bother him.After all, he was older now.Smarter.Prettier.He'd moved on.He was way past Mustang.

The wedding wasn't until the following evening, so Ed allowed himself some much-needed sleep and slept in until almost noon the next day. As much as Ed loved travel, actual Point-A-to-Point-B shit tended to be more exhausting than he bargained for.

He dug through his suitcase, trying to find something to wear that was both not horrifically wrinkled and acceptably formal for a wedding.What did people wear to weddings?He'd been to a couple through the years, but what did _Amestrian_ people wear to _Amestrian_ weddings?

He settled a on a pair of gray slacks that fit his ass well, a white pressed button-down with the sleeves rolled up at the ends, and a red sash slung low on his hips, like they wore to the galas in Aerugo.He put his hair up in a high ponytail for lack of any more interesting ideas, and decided that a pair of earrings weren't _too_ wild for this crowd.They were red-jeweled, dangling earrings that had been given to him by a philosopher who fell in love with him for four days.This ensemble ought to be fine for a wedding, right?It was a cocktail wedding, so it shouldn't be super formal.

He killed time, reading and picking on leftovers, until five thirty, and decided to walk rather than take his and Al's car.He hated driving, and it was a nice day.

In fact, Ed realized as he wound his way down the Central sidewalks, hands in his pockets, it was a _fabulous_ day, the May air warm but not sticky.Just perfect, really.It was a good decision to have an outdoor venue.He arrived at the location amidst flurries of guests, and mentally congratulated himself for finally managing to be on time to something.

There was a large pavilion set up in a wide grassy area for the reception, which would immediately follow the service, and just beyond it were lines of chairs and elegant decorations where the ceremony would take place.The sun was just setting, and everything was bathed in golden and peach light.Glowing orange lanterns were strung about the venue, and subtle flowers and greenery completed the ambiance.Ed was pretty impressed; he had always assumed that all weddings were pink and frilly and ostentatious, but this one managed to be slightly tasteful.

As Ed made his way to the seating area, he scanned the crowd for familiar faces.His search was soon rewarded as Maria Ross appeared near him, looking nice and put-together as always.

"Ross!" he called with a grin, catching her attention.

She turned, and a smile spread over her face at the sight of him."Edward, it's so good to see you!" she said.

"You too," he said, as they exchanged hugs and friendly kisses on the cheek.

"Ed, you look so well," she said, looking genuinely happy."Taller, too," she added with a hint of smugness.

Ed sniggered."Yeah, well, thanks for saying so," he said, raising an eyebrow.He still wasn't as tall as her.

"I didn't know you were in town," said Ross. "When did you get in?" 

"Yesterday evening," said Ed. "Kinda nice to be home, get the chance to celebrate with some old friends."

"I'm so glad for it.How long will you be in Central?"

Ed shrugged and smiled. "Couple months, I hope.Al's getting home in a few days, and I think we're ready to take it easy for a little while." 

"That's wonderful, Ed," said Ross, placing a hand on his shoulder for emphasis. "I look forward to spending time with both of you. Are you...here by yourself?" 

Ed laughed."Yeah, I don't have a date, if that's what you're asking.It's just me, these days.And what about, ah…you and Riza, huh?I've been hearing some things…"

"Riza is, ah, in the wedding," said Ross quickly, her cheeks going pink.

Ed raised an eyebrow and smirked at her carefully-neutral expression.

Then Ross relented and smiled a bit sheepishly."Things are going well," she admitted quietly, the smile creeping higher on her face.

"I gotta save a date?" Ed said, nudging her with his elbow.

Ross laughed like the thought was funny, but then she looked at the ground and said, "I'm…not sure."

Ed laughed happily and put an arm around her shoulders.He hoped this would work out for them.They both deserved it."You sitting with anyone?"

"Well, Riza's in the wedding, so…"

"Mind if I join you?"

  
"Not at all, Edward."

They linked arms, smiled, and took their seats on Havoc's side of the guests.As they waited for the ceremony to start, Ed was able to pick out almost all of Roy's team from among the crowd, as well as Denny Brosh and Gracia Hughes, and a few others.He'd have to catch up with them afterward.

Ed tried to keep himself from fidgeting as the wedding started.There was music, and flower girls, and then came the procession of bridesmaids and groomsmen.They were all dressed in an iffy shade of maroon, but Riza was the maid of honor and she looked nice in it.Ed felt his heart warm at seeing his friend.

And then, there was Mustang.

Ooh, Mustang.

Ed really tried his best not to look, to just ignore him, but who was he kidding?He was not ready for this.All those things he'd been telling himself about being over him?Lies, all lies.That hair.Those shoulders.That ass.That damn _smirk_.

"Holy shit," he muttered to himself, not loud enough for anyone to hear.

Whoever's idea it was to have the groomsmen just wear vests, and no jackets, needed a pat on the back and also a slap on the wrist for making Ed's life so difficult.As the procession lined up in the front, Ed managed to tear his eyes off of Roy's silhouette, suddenly worrying that they would accidentally make eye contact.He didn't need to worry, though.As the best man, Roy's focus was all on Havoc and the ceremony.

And when Ed wasn't being miserably caught up in the sight of his ex, he enjoyed the ceremony.It was nice to see Havoc so happy and content, especially since Ed could remember a time when the man thought his future was a lost cause.And this Rebecca seemed spunky and lively even when exchanging vows, not watery and emotional like a lot of brides.Ed thought he could definitely come to like her.

He was even more excited for the reception.Everyone gathered under the pavilion, and there was live music and a dance floor.Tall, round tables were scattered around for people to stand and mingle at, and in the corner were long tables for drinks and hors d'oeuvres.Ed would definitely be making his way over there.

He and Ross found Riza, and he enjoyed catching up with her.It made him happy to see the glow in Riza's eyes when she was with Maria; Riza deserved to be happy, she deserved the world.Ed left them staring into each other's eyes, and ran into Kain Fuery on his way to congratulate the bride and groom.

When he finally reached Havoc, the man's eyes widened in surprise and he stuttered out a, "B-boss!You made it!"  
Ed rolled his eyes and smiled, giving Havoc a hug.(It didn't go unnoticed that Havoc was still nearly a foot taller than him.)"Not your boss anymore, Havoc," he said, fondly."Never…was, actually…"

"Right, sorry," Havoc said, laughing giddily.The grin on his face has been plastered there all night."You've met Rebecca."

Ed shook her hand and chatted with the happy couple for a few minutes before letting them get to their other guests, and making his way to the drink table.On the way, he ran into Vato Falman and stopped to talk with him for a few minutes.After that he ran into Gracia Hughes, and it was always nice to see her pretty face, even if it did draw Ed's attention to a particular hole in his heart.When he finally got the drink table, he definitely needed a drink.He was having a good time, but to him, crowds were tolerable exclusively when alcohol was in the equation.

He'd just gotten his drink when he turned around and…there he was.Mustang.Just fucking _there_.

From the looks of it, Roy was surprised to see him too, so at least it wasn't like he'd intentionally cornered him.Then again, you could never be sure with this guy.

Ed felt a little shiver in his spine, but all the same, he found that the smile that spread across his face wasn't forced or fake, and neither did he feel the need to hide it.

"Edward," said Mustang, his voice reflecting warmth along with surprise.

"Hey Colonel," said Ed.

Mustang chuckled, smiled that winning smile."I'm not a colonel anymore, Ed.I'm a general."

"Right, yeah," said Ed.He couldn't keep himself from giving Mustang a quick once-over, biting his lip slightly."So, how you been, bastard?"

Roy's smile didn't falter, and he glanced around the room, considering."Busy," he decided.

"Yeah, me too," Ed said.

Just then, Ed bumped into someone behind him and realized he was blocking the drink table.

"Would…you like to sit?" said Mustang, being obviously cautious.

"Sure," said Ed, smiling.He hadn't planned on talking to the bastard tonight, but he was suddenly being bombarded by a rush of emotions, which, rather surprisingly, weren't all negative.He had been so busy being angry and hurt, before, that he had never let himself miss Roy.But now, looking into his eyes, feeling the warmth of his smile…he had.He really had missed him.An embarrassing amount, probably.They took a seat in the line of chairs along the edge of the pavilion, and everything was always so smooth with Mustang; that easy, deep voice, the hair, everything.

"When did you get back to Central?" Mustang said.

Ed tucked a lock of hair behind his ear."Yesterday evening."

Mustang paused and surveyed Ed gently."You're looking very well."  
Ed smiled, the sincerity of it surprising even him."So are you."It was weird, being around someone with whom he'd been so intimate before, both physically and emotionally, and now just wasn't.Ed was so annoyed at himself to find that all he had to do was stare into that stupid gorgeous face, and he wanted to spill all his guts to him.Tell him every detail of his life in the last two and a half fucking years.Maybe, this time, it could work…Ed was so different now, and…

He squashed that line of thought before it was able to get anywhere.

"It's been a while since I've seen you," said Mustang.

Wow, no shit."Yeah, I guess it has," said Ed.

"How have you been?Last I heard, you were off adventuring in Creta.I'm sure you have all sorts of interesting stories."

Ed chuckled and took a sip of his drink."Well, most of the adventuring has been in labs, if we're being honest.At least, that's where the real adventure is.And if I've jumped off a few trains or rescued a few princesses from distress in the process, that's my business," said Ed with a playful smile.

Mustang laughed, smoothly, warmly."Believable," he said with a nod."Were said princesses' countries grateful for your service?"

"Well, said _princess_ may have actually been a _prince_ , so any attempt to sweep him off his feet was kinda…frowned upon."

Mustang laughed heartily.

So, the "Mentioning Other Romantic Partners" Test was passed with flying colors.Of fucking course.Because everything Mustang did was smooth and charming and genuine, if fake at that.

"Well then," said Roy, "what of the _real_ adventures?"

Ed blinked at him and resettled in his chair."Oh, do you mean my work?Well, first of all, it's been a bitch to find alchemy assistants, I can tell you that.Folks think I'm looking for an apprentice, want me to give them a fucking science class.I look like a professor to you?"

Mustang shook his head seriously.

"Exactly.I really just need a pair of hands and a gate, you know?Somebody to perform the transmutations once I've created the equation.I'm so excited to have Al back, nobody beats him."

"When is he—"

"Sunday night.So I've been researching this weird type of alchemy that they have in Drachma, not like the capital, but way off in the west.Their alchemy is fundamentally pretty similar to ours, not like the Xingese bullshit, but they just have this whole different way of approaching it.Everything you know about arrays?Completely fucking goneThey don't even operate with perfect circles."

"Wow."

"I know!Bullshit, right?They have this oval nonsense going on.So I've been testing a lot of their theories against my previous ones, and I've discovered this really interesting anomaly where…"

Ed lost himself in informing Roy about his most recent research, because it was fucking interesting.When he stopped for breath and checked his watch, he'd been talking fora almost twenty minutes.He hadn't even noticed.

"Holy shit, I'm sorry," he said, looking up at Roy with a nervous laugh.He was feeling on a bit of a high; part of it was likely because of the alcohol, and part of it was because he just fucking loved talking about science.He fidgeted a bit in his seat."It's just…not many people ask me about my work, and even fewer know what the hell I'm talking about."

Mustang was quick to shake his head in reassurance."Of course not.I find it fascinating, Edward."

Damn the bastard for sounding genuine.

Ed sat back and took a deep breath, running a hand down his ponytail and forcing himself to push the rest of what he was going to say to the back of his mind."So, what about you?How have you been?Still pushing paperwork every day, or has your job gotten any more interesting?"

"Well, I won't deny that paperwork has remained a principal part of my day-to-day routine, but I'd venture to say that I'm at one of the more…intriguing points in my career."

Ed inclined his head to prompt Roy to continue, and he did, with what could only be called poise.Ed was regretting having talked for so long, because listening to Roy talk was a fucking miracle.

"You may be aware that Führer Grumman has been in poor health recently."

Ed nodded.

"He's looking to appoint his successor."

"He's gonna pick you, obviously," Ed could not keep himself from interjecting.

Roy took a deep, controlled breath."Not obvious.General Armstrong was a primary candidate…"

" 'Was' because she turned him down?"

Mustang smiled a bit ruefully."Precisely.The other primary candidates for the position are myself and man named General Gregor Baasch.Do you know of him?"

Ed squinted at a lantern."I think I may have heard the name…"

"He is…an interesting man.One of great intellect, but perhaps questionable…ideals?"

"He's a scumbag, isn't he?" Ed supplied.

Roy wrinkled his nose just the slightest."Yeah, he's kind of a scumbag."

Ed sniggered."Well, I know you're going to win."

Roy smiled at him, a bit condescendingly."Don't humor me, Ed.It's a close matter.I'm not sure either way myself.Führer Grumman will choose the man he thinks is best for this country."Roy got a wistful look in his eye for a moment, then shook head to clear it."Anyway, it's more complicated than you might think.And with the recent situation concerning Xing—"

"Oh my god, don't talk to me about Xing," Ed interrupted, turning his gaze away.

"I know that you and Alphonse have…ties, in Xing.But that doesn't change the fact that the political relations between our countries are extremely fragile at the moment."

Ed said nothing, staring petulantly out at the dance floor, because he didn't want to fucking talk about this.

Mustang must have mistaken his silence as a sign that he needed to be further informed about the issue, because he went on."The Emperor has closed down all trade between Amestris and Xing, and all because of the Xerxes controversy…"

"Ugh, I should have known you were going to try to get me to talk about Xerxes, too.Everyone wants to talk to me about Xerxes."

"Well, I don't want to make you discuss something you don't want to, Ed, but you have to recognize that it is one of the primary political debates, currently, and it concerns no one more than you."

"Look, Mustang, I'm going to tell you what I tell everyone else who keeps trying to drag me into this.I don't want to get wrapped up in it.Al cares enough to make a big deal out of this, and good for him, but it's not my thing.I don't want to get involved."

Roy's annoyance was thinly veiled."That's fine; I'm not saying you have to champion the cause, Edward, you simply have to acknowledge the reality of the situation.You and Alphonse are the only living Xerxians, so it's only natural that people seek your opinion.If you ask me, it's in an effort to be respectful to your heritage, and you shouldn't spurn it."

"I'm not 'spurning' anything, Mustang.I'm telling you everything is too fucking complicated, and I can't get into the thing with Xerxes without it involving Xing, and vice versa."

Roy let out a huff of breath that was an inch too fucking close to a derisive laugh."I'm sure I don't need to tell you this, Edward—"

"No shit," Ed muttered under his breath.

"—but every issue regarding Xing has been entirely initiated by the Emperor.I know you've been abroad for a long time, but here in Amestris, we still prioritize peace.If you ask me, this whole business should have been resolved months ago."

"Well, I didn't ask you, and I don't want you to ask me.And 'the Emperor' is my best fucking friend.I don't want to _fucking_ talk about this, okay?Lay off."

Mustang caught that the conversation had gone too far and immediately clammed up."Ed, I apologize, I didn't mean to—"

"You know what's great right now?The music.Is great.Right now.I'm gonna go dance!"

Ed caught the look of ruefulness in Roy's eyes as he hopped up and made his way to the dance floor.And, shit, he hadn't meant to come down so hard, but that whole conversation had to be nipped in the bud.Ed knew from experience that it wouldn't end well.

And fuck, this always happened, didn't it?What started out as a friendly conversation pivoted in point-two seconds to being combative and, worse, petty.He didn't know if it was his fault or Roy's—and he'd long since given up on trying to figure it out—but it always ended up here.And it was an honest _shame_.

He hoped Roy didn't think he was too angry.He just wanted to move on.The music was actually good, and Ed wanted to dance.

The band was currently strumming out a lively Amestrian folk tune, and the dance floor was filled with people in the midst of a traditional line dance.Scanning around for a partner that he at least knew, Ed snagged the closest person at hand, which happened to be Kain Fuery, who was watching and clapping.

"Kain, c'mere, dance with me," said Ed, waving him over.

Kain laughed nervously. "Oh, Edward, I don't think that I—"

But Ed didn't let him finish.He reached over and grabbed Kain's wrist and spun him onto the dance floor, and soon they were joining in, Kain laughing delightedly.

Ed danced a couple dances with Kain, and then with Riza, until the line dancing ended, and couples began joining hands for upbeat and timely waltzes.Riza excused herself with a smile to get a glass of water, and Ed found himself without a partner again.He spun around, looking for someone, and then he spun right into—

"May I have this dance?"

Fuck, that voice.

Mustang was holding out a hand, wearing a smile that was half amusement and full charm.

Ed eyed him suspiciously and backed away from his offered hand.This was definitely not a good idea.

Mustang laughed lyrically."It's nothing serious, Ed, just a dance.For fun.Although you don't have to say yes if you're uncomfortable."

Ed considered for a moment.Al had warned him about a phantom scenario shockingly similar to this.

_"And what will you do if he does something really romantic, like ask you to dance?"_

_"I'll…still say no?"_

_"Correct."_

Yeah, Al would not be pleased with his current predicament.Ed probably should've avoided talking to the bastard in the first place, but…

"Yeah, okay," Ed said, shrugging."Just for fun."

But then Mustang's hand was on his waist, and their fingers were twining together, and oh _fuck_ this was a mistake. 

Roy was still as good a dancer as Ed remembered, but this time Ed was confident that he matched his ability.And they fit together so well.Roy was and likely would remain a few inches taller than him, just enough that Ed had to look up to him.And Ed would never admit it to this bastard, but whenever he'd had partners that were his height or shorter, it was never quite the same.It wasn't that it was weird—Ed enjoyed dancing with anyone—but he liked a man on the dance floor that could really take firm hold of him and spin him around, anchor him.

And now he was realizing that that particular complex probably came straight from the bastard himself.

Ed tried to put himself on guard, but that was a surprisingly unintuitive endeavor.Mustang was somehow able to make decent conversation while spinning Ed around the dance floor, and ended up getting Ed to talk about some of his travels.The places he'd been, the interesting cultures and foods and peoples.Whenever Ed was around Mustang, he just _talked_ , and it was infuriating.It was like he had been subconsciously been saving all of this stuff in his head just for the express purpose of telling it all back to Roy.Maybe Ed just missed Al too much.

Roy talked too; talked about his job, and little changes in Central, and Ishval, and all the strides they were making—he really beamed when he talked about that. 

When they stopped dancing a few songs later, they were both grinning and laughing and breathing heavily.The party was starting to wind down a bit, goodbyes being said by those that were not intimate friends of the couple and the formality starting to wear off of those that were.Havoc, Rebecca, Falman, Braeda, Riza and Maria were all sitting in a cluster of chairs in the corner, talking and laughing loudly.Grabbing another drink, Ed joined them.They all hung around and drank and talked about old times for upwards of an hour, Havoc's closest friends regaling Rebecca with whatever embarrassing stories they could manage to dredge up.

And as everyone loosened ties and knocked back drinks and kicked up feet, Ed couldn't help but muse on the absolute dork that Roy became when he was surrounded by only his friends.His laughter went from polite and controlled to boisterous and open.Ed wasn't sure if it was the champagne or just the good company, or both, but he watched in wonder as Roy went from, well, General Mustang, leader of men and breaker of hearts, to…Roy.Hanging out and making dumb jokes and just being a big dork.

The thought was rather devastating to Ed, actually.Because this was the man that Ed fell in…well, into _feelings_ with.A cunning mind, but a big fucking heart, too.

And yeah, he was also definitely drunk.

Ed found himself getting a little blurry around the edges as well, still managing to carry on a very serious conversation with Falman about whether or not the food up North gets better if you slather it in ketchup.Ed couldn't help, though, hearing snatches of the conversation going on behind him, _not_ because he'd been eavesdropping, but because he was capable of multitasking, that's why.And he just liked to stay on top of things.

While Falman was going on about frozen sausages, Havoc stretched and said to Roy, "Well, I suppose we should start to think about calling it a night."

To which Rebecca replied with an eyebrow wiggle, "Yeah, 'cause some of us have more important business to attend to."

Mustang laughed.And then Havoc said, "What about _you_ , General?Maid of Honor's spoken for, but looks like you've been having a pretty successful evening so far…?"

Ed knew they were talking about him, and it made him tense up immediately.They were obviously still oblivious to the fact that he was listening, since he was still carrying on a believable conversation with Falman.

He heard Mustang chuckle."If only I could be so lucky…" he muttered, his voice laced with suggestion.Both men sniggered.

Ed's stomach dropped, and then curled in a familiar nausea at their crude words.Just like that, any phantom respect that he was naive enough to assume he got from them was dissolved into nothing.

The alcohol having lowered whatever inhibitions Edward was in possession of in the first place, he couldn't stop himself from turning around and snarling, "Oh, fuck off," before getting up and striding off to get a glass of water.And when he'd gotten his water, he'd probably just leave, while he was at it.

He got a cup of cold water and gulped it down, trying to clear the red from his vision.It wasn't that what they'd said was all that awful, it just rubbed him the wrong way.He hated feeling like his body—like _he_ —was a prize to be won, like men were leering at him and betting on their odds.It was thoroughly objectifying.It was bad enough that he couldn't go to a bar without gross men throwing him nasty looks; he shouldn't have to put up with it from his friends.Fuck them, anyway. 

Mustang had apparently, by this point, figured out that he'd fucked up, and met Ed by the water table.

"Edward, I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

"Yeah, what?" said Ed."To let me hear?You're just trying to get in my pants after all, aren't you?"

"No, Edward…"

"Is that all I am to you?A good lay?"

Mustang's look turned affronted."All you _are_ to me?Ed, I haven't seen you in two years.You're…nothing to me."

That struck Ed right in the center of the chest.His eyes went wide as the words bounced around in his slightly inebriated brain, and to his horror, he felt tears spring to them.He screwed his face up in anger.No.He would _not_ cry here, not even a chance.He could not.Not even…if Roy just said…

Despite Ed's efforts to cloak his reaction, Roy figured out really quick that he'd made a mistake and went straight to backpedaling."Ed, that's—that came out wrong."

"Fuck you, get outta my way," said Ed, pushing past him and heading for the end of the pavilion.As much as Ed would have liked to blame this all on Roy, he knew what Roy meant, and Roy was right.And what Ed said had come out wrong, too.He didn't expect to be anything to Mustang.He knew that Roy had long since moved on.He had just been trying to call him out on his lewd comment, was all.

Mustang cut him off just before he left the pavilion."Ed, I'm sorry, I'm fucking this up."

Ed stopped and surveyed him, crossed his arms."What tipped you off?"

"I'm so sorry.What I said to Jean, I didn't mean it.I promise.And I didn't mean what I said just now, either.I just…"Roy put a hand to his head and took a deep breath."I've had too much champagne.I'm sorry.I didn't expect to spend time with you tonight, but I had a lovely time catching up.I didn't mean to imply anything by my actions or by my words.I value your friendship, and I don't expect anything more from you."

Amazing, the bastard could pull of an eloquent apology while hammered.Must have had lots of practice.

"Then apologize for fucking objectifying me."

"I apologize," said Mustang."It was wrong of me, and it will never happen again."

Ed blinked at him.It had been damn long since he'd gotten a good, proper apology from someone that owed him one.And it wasn't so big a deal what Roy had said, right?He was drunk, after all.Ed had done much stupider shit while drunk.

"Okay.Thanks," he said."Apology accepted."

Mustang looked relieved.

"So, I'm going to go home and get some sleep," said Ed."I've had sort of a long week, and Al's getting home soon.Maybe at some point we can…go have dinner."

Shit.Had he just said that?Maybe he was drunker than he thought.

His face started to heat up."I mean—shit.Not like a date, just…or lunch.Y'know, with Al, and…stop laughing, bastard!"

Roy had started to chuckle.He put a hand on Ed's shoulder."We should talk more when we've had less to drink, yes?"

  
"Yeah, shit," said Ed, putting a hand to his forehead."Um, just tell Havoc congrats for me again, okay?I'll talk to you later," he said, walking away.

"It was good to see you again, Fullmetal."

Ed paused, but thought it best not to turn around.He walked out into the night with that name ringing in his head.Normally it made him angry.It put this picture in his mind of a fifteen year old him with a garish red coat and an even more garish personality.As if things were so much better now.Instead of everyone thinking he was a pissy kid, they all thought he was a slut.Wow, so much improvement.

Roy had probably just let the name slip because of the champagne.That was probably it.Ed could let it go this time.

 

Al and May's train got in Sunday evening, and Ed was standing on the platform twenty minutes in advance, nearly bouncing in place in anticipation.He might be stupid for it, but what if the train got in early?He had to be here the moment Al arrived.

But the train rolled in precisely at 7:00 P.M., slowing to a stop with a whining screech and wisps of steam.After a short delay, the passengers began to pour out, and Ed eagerly scanned the sea of faces for his brother.Sure enough, on the far side of the platform, he caught sight of a swish of blond hair.

Unbidden, his face broke into a grin and a tear prickled the corner of his eye.He took off running toward his little brother."Al!"

Al turned to meet Ed's eyes only a second before Ed threw his arms around him.

"Ed!" Al grinned broadly and laughed, and Ed held onto him as tightly as possible, his heart swelling with elation.

"Aw, Al, I missed you so much!" he said, burying his head in his brother's shoulder, unable to let go.

"I missed you too, brother!"

Ed pulled back and looked at him."Al, you're taller!And your hair is longer."

Al touched the hair tied up in a bun behind his head."Yeah, I'm growing it out.I don't know how much taller I am, though," he laughed."I don't have that much more time left to grow."

"Well, it's that or I shrunk.Oh, Al, I missed you so much."

Ed felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around to see May Chang raising an eyebrow at him."Hey, did you miss me?" she said, a hand on her canted hip.She was still a few inches shorter than Ed—which was very important—but you wouldn't know it based on her personality, which had only gotten larger and more brazen over the years.

For a moment, he squinted at her, pretending to scrutinize.Then he broke into a wry smile, and said, "Never."He pulled her into a hug.Yeah, he and May had had their differences over the years, but in the end, he really respected, admired, and kinda liked her.She reminded him of himself at that age.God, now he sounded old.

"How was your trip, guys?" he said, still wrapping his head around the fact that they were here, standing before him.

Before Al could say something polite, May cut in with, "Boring.I hate trains.And I'm hungry.Can we get something to eat?"

"Yeah, yeah I've got food at home.You wanna go home?"

Al smiled a weary smile."Home sounds great."

Over the course of the evening, Ed discovered that he had forgotten how high the volume got when he, Al, and May were all in the same room: almost as high as when they were with Winry.He had missed this so fucking much.

Al and May took turns relating their adventures; when they were together, they had a talent for making even the most ordinary stories into epically hilarious anecdotes.By the end of their meal, Ed's sides hurt.

Even more than he enjoyed hearing their funny stories, though, he loved seeing their eyes light up when they talked about their current dream for the future: they wanted to start a university.

"It'll be for students from all over," said Al."It'll be a place for them to connect to other cultures and peoples."

"We'll teach Amestrian to Xingese students and Xingese to Amestrian students," said May.

"We'll teach science and mathematics and of course alchemy and alcahestry," said Al.

"And we can have a dorm environment for students who are far from home," said May.

"It'll be a way to truly bring together our cultures for the first time!" said Al.

"You guys, that is freaking amazing.I am so proud of you!So when is this going to start happening?"

  
At this, May and Al exchanged glances and went rather quiet.

"Well…" began Al, "there's a bit of a hold on all progress for now, actually.Since, you know, all the conflict between Amestris and Xing at the moment—the whole Xerxes controversy—the last thing people want to hear about is an international university."

"Nobody will fund us if they think that nobody will attend," said May, downtrodden."And nobody will attend if something doesn't change between the countries, you know?It won't be safe for them."

Ed could feel anxiety boiling up already.He knew all of this.Al had written to him about it before.He knew that there were issues between Amestris and Xing, and he knew that he was expected to be able to fix something.But he couldn't fix anything, because he couldn't even dip his finger into the well of this issue without hurting someone he cared about.

"Brother?"

Ed looked up to see Al giving him the "affectionate concern" face.

"We don't have to talk about this if you don't want to," said Al.He brushed his hand reassuringly over Ed's.

Beautiful, perfect, selfless Al.All he wanted to do was start a fucking _school_ , and this awful world couldn't give him that?

"No, Al, it's fine.I'm fine, really.I just—you guys are right.You should get the chance to build your school, and you should get the fucking funding and hundreds of students.I wish there was something I could do to help."That was all true, and it was also safe and non-political.

Al and May exchanged a subtle look—and Ed tried his hardest not to be jealous about those little private looks, because that wasn't fair—and Al began tentatively, "…Well.Actually I think there might be, but…I can't be the one to talk to you about it.Someone else needs to talk to you about it."

Ed felt an unnamable apprehension.He looked from Al to May and back."Then who?"His gut twisted with a single irrational anxiety. _Not Roy.Why would it be Roy?It wouldn't be Roy.Please don't let it be Roy._

Al rose from the table to root around his satchel on the floor, and from it he withdrew an envelope.He handed it to Ed.On the front, scrawled in untidy elegance, was his name: Edward.

"Aw, no," whined Ed, sliding down in his seat and letting his head fall to the table."No, don't give this to me, I don't want to read this."

"Why?" said Al."It's from Ling."

Ed took the letter in both hands and squinted at it questioningly."Because the fucker's gonna be all sweet and entreating, and then I'm gonna…" he trailed off and whined as he opened it anyway.

Fuck, it was handwritten.And it was definitely Ling's handwriting.That meant he put _time_ into it, and _effort_.Plus it was written in Amestrian, which meant that Ling had to translate the whole thing in his head and meticulously check grammar and…

The first sentence began: _'To my dearest Edward, my golden ray of light and beauty in the driest of deserts…'_

"Nooooooo," drawled Ed, burying his face in his sleeve to hide the pink heating up his cheeks.

The entirety of the letter was similarly sappy, but Ed wasn't surprised when the praises and pleasantries transitioned oh-so-smoothly into the real purpose of the letter.Ed knew Ling well enough to know that there was one.

Ling wanted him to talk Roy about Xerxes.Of fucking course that was what it was about.Ling wanted Ed to be his ambassador, his little mediator, to waltz into Mustang's office and crusade for Ling's cause.

Ed's eyes narrowed as he read.He knew what was going on.Ling was doing exactly what Roy wanted to do: manipulate him.Use him as a fucking chess piece.Well, at least Ling was upfront about his own bullshit.He laid out what he wanted Ed to say, and why it had to be him: _'The reason I am requesting that it is you rather than Alphonse is quite simply because I don't believe that General Mustang will listen to him.'_

When Ed got to the end of the letter—which was closed with no less than three paragraphs of overblown gratefulness and reassurances of love—he didn't know how to feel.He was angry, on the one hand.But he wasn't angry _enough_.On the other hand, he was unsurprised by this and therefore only vaguely unamused.More than anything, though, he fought to will away the painful squeeze on his heart that nearly threatened to bring tears to his eyes.He should have known this would happen—he did know—so why was this so difficult?What did he expect from Ling?Wasn't this how Ling treated all of his friends?Didn't he know that Ling was willing to manipulate?How did he expect Ling to think of him?

As he stared at the Xingese signature at the bottom of the last page, he realized the answer was… _differently_.Differently from how Ling treated everyone else.Differently from how Ling thought of everyone else.

The thought, honestly, scared Ed half to death.Even at his and Ling's closest, they'd never really been exclusive; did Ed really expect Ling to treat him, Edward Elric, specially, out of everyone?When had Ed started thinking that way?Did Ed want that for them?Even more concerning than that was what Ed was about to say next.

"You know what?Fine," he said, rising from the table.

"What?" said Al, looking genuinely confused.

"I'll do it.Fine.Even though I don't fucking get the point of any of this.I mean, why not get someone unbiased?I'm the most biased person on the planet."

"Because you're biased equally to both sides, and therefore not biased at all," Al said."All you have to do is just talk to him; Ling doesn't trust anyone else."

Ed ran a hand through his bangs and crossed his arms, trying to will away the vaguely sick feeling in his gut.Then he peered down at Alphonse."How the fuck d'you know what it says, anyway?"

Al's eyes went wide."I…assumed."

  
"Yeah," said May, casually sarcastic."We definitely didn't read it and then reseal it.Who kne—"She was cut off very abruptly as Al kicked her under the table.

"Whatever," said Ed, lacking the energy to care."I'm going to go, and I'm going to talk to him, and then I'll have done my part, and I'm not getting involved after that.Got it?"

"Got it," said Al and May in unison.

Those two were too fucking scheming for their own good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! I'd love it if you'd leave a comment so I can hear what you thought! :D
> 
> A couple quick notes for going forward in the work:
> 
> \- both Royed and Linged are big parts of this fic. I'm a big fan of both ships and to be completely honest, I don't know which ship is endgame in this, lol. So if you dislike either of the ships, this might not be the fic for you!
> 
> \- the themes of this will get a bit darker as this goes on, exploring a character who deals with depression and self-harm. If you need more detail, feel free to message me on tumblr, and I'll be happy giving more.
> 
> \- I've written pretty far ahead in this, but it's not finished yet! Which means that your feedback could alter the course of the story! (I've never really done this before, but we'll see how it works out!)
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! My tumblr is occhiolysm.tumblr.com!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For years, Roy Mustang has maintained a precise efficiency in his life; after all, he is one of the most powerful men in Amestris, and that's not a title anyone could manage as seamlessly, as gracefully as he does. And the secret to it is simple: compartmentalization.
> 
> So Roy isn't thrilled when a certain brash, blond, and boisterous young genius comes barreling back into his life, intent on mucking up all of his carefully crafted compartments. Or maybe he's a bit too thrilled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place from Roy's perspective, because it seemed like the thing to do at the time. *shrug* It'll be happening intermittently throughout the fic in a pattern I haven't figured out yet.
> 
> Also I just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone who read the first chapter and gave such amazing feedback! I had nearly abandoned this fic when I posted it, and you guys have given me the motivation to reengage in it and pick it up! You guys are the literal coolest <3

Edward had been at the wedding.And currently, Roy was running on his third consecutive day of thinking of literally nothing else.

All weekend, he'd been incapable of dragging his thoughts away from that night.He'd analyzed every second of their interaction to infinitesimal detail.He'd even _dreamed_ about Edward last night.

Because, here was the thing.Roy had spent the last two years figuring out what to do with these feelings.Where to put them.And it was rather rude of Ed to waltz in like he hadn't a care in the world and kick down all of Roy's carefully crafted barriers.

When he and Ed had first split up, Roy had done his best to get rid of Ed.To shut him out of his mind and tell himself that that part of him was totally over, done.And that he was better for it.When he found out that that wasn't going to work at all, he simply did what he did best.

He compartmentalized the hell out of it.

Maybe he couldn't let Ed go completely, but he could make sure he didn't sit around pining after him.He could make his best effort to not let Ed dominate his thoughts.After more than two years, he was getting pretty good at that.

But then Ed had to go and show up again, and he had been so…different.His appearance was essentially the same, but something about him was different.The way he carried himself: the sway of his hips, the delicate arch of his spine, the stretch of his arms.He'd looked thinner; Roy didn't know if that was due to an extra inch or two on his height or if he had reason for concern.Ed's hair was long, the tip of his ponytail brushing along his elbows and the small of his back.Roy had always thought that hair approaching waist-length tended to look a bit ratty and ill-maintained—Riza always kept her hair a good six inches higher than that, even at its longest—but Ed's had none of that, as gold and thick and bouncy as ever.Roy wanted to rake his fingers through it, and that was definitely wrecking his delicate compartmentalization.

Ed's outfit had been, admittedly, a little garish, but his presentation of himself somehow wasn't.Not like before, anyway.It was unapologetic deviancy mixed with unarguable grace.You couldn't fault him for looking different, because he did it so flawlessly.The red sash and the earrings had completed the eclectic look, at once declaring that Edward acknowledged who he'd been as a child, and was now a completely different person.15-year-old Ed would never have worn earrings; in fact, he would never have dared to present so feminine in general.Adult Ed didn't seem to mind it one bit.

Although he hadn't stopped to get a proper read on the room, Roy didn't think that Ed had necessarily been playing to the stares—and there were many stares—he just didn't seem to notice them.Which was really amazing, in its own right, but shouldn't have surprised him.

Edward had become a state alchemist at age 12, had allowed people to think of him as a dog and a freak, or worse, a neat party trick.Now, a decade later, people thought of him as a promiscuous homosexual vagabond, and he just continued along in his refusal to bat an eye.Roy, of course, would have never thought those things of Ed himself; he'd been called every single one of them, at one point in his life.The difference was, Roy had always _cared_.

If people criticized him for something he was, he went about changing those aspects of himself.And if he couldn't change them, he would do his best to outshine them with more interesting qualities.

'Ladies' man.'

There, see?An example of perfect success in developing a persona and reputation that was completely, utterly, one hundred percent false.Roy had never slept with a woman in his life, and he wasn't inclined to change that fact.But it didn't matter.It only mattered what was spread around in whispers and gossip.

Roy didn't know how much of Ed's reputation was true and how much was gossip.Again, he had no interest in judging Ed for how many people he slept with, because such a thing would simply be boring and in poor taste.But he would be lying if he said that the matter didn't involve him _somewhat_.Edward was a grown man, and he could make his own decisions regarding his body.But there had been a time that Roy had run his hands over that body and whispered his intent to be the last one to ever do so—and he had meant it.

He didn't presume to have any claim over Ed's life, but it stung just a little to know that there had likely been dozens and _dozens_ after him.Dozens and dozens who knew Ed's body as intricately as he did, and probably a few of that number who knew Ed's heart even better.

No, Roy had no claim over Edward, and he had made his peace with that fact.But there was still this persistent little nagging, very small in the back of his mind, that said: what if?

And of course, his weekend reflections weren't made any more pleasant by the fact that Roy had screwed things up at the wedding _fantastically_.Just when he had begun to think that he might have a chance again—with Edward, with love—he stuck his foot in his mouth.Because that was just how things had been going for him.

Really, though, when he stopped being angry at himself for what he did, he was rather impressed at Ed.Though perhaps he shouldn't be surprised.He said something degrading about Ed, and Ed plain refused to take it.It also spoke, unfortunately, of someone who was used to being degraded, and Roy hated that thought.Even more so now that he'd contributed to it.

The point was, he'd screwed up, but hopefully not beyond recovery.Ed had forgiven him—another indication of immense personal growth.The way Roy saw it, it all depended on what he did next.

As he got ready to go into work on Monday morning, fastening buttons and popping toast and brewing coffee, he tried to list out the options for himself.

He couldn't just ask Ed to spend time with him; that would be transparently desperate, and it might scare him away.Ed had obviously been on his guard against anything edging too close to romance (excluding dancing, but Ed had danced with a lot of people over the course of the evening.)But if he didn't make any move, there was a chance that Ed thought him completely uninterested in even cultivating friendship, let alone anything more.Along with the additional likelihood that it might mean Roy see painfully little of Ed, it wasn't the most inviting option.Best case scenario was that Ed initiate further contact: maybe call Roy up for that lunch date he mentioned.

Or rather, just lunch; no date, of course.

For once, Roy was actually looking forward to going into work on a Monday morning.Monotonous paperwork and political stress were sure-fire ways to get his mind off of Ed.

Unfortunately, he realized upon approaching his office that wasn't going to be the case, as he heard Ed's name mentioned in a snatch of conversation.He lingered for a second just outside the door to his outer office to hear what was being said.

"…good to see Ed doing well."That was Fuery.

"He's become a bit…eccentric, though, don't you think?" said Falman.

Breda snorted."Yeah, I guess, but damn if there wasn't a time we were worried about that kid, you remember?We all had bets on what kind of substance abuse he was going to take up."

  
Roy decided that lingering any longer would definitely be eavesdropping, and entered the office as though the delay had never happened.

When Breda saw, his eyes went a bit large and he stuttered."Oh, uh, not actual bets, of course.Sir."

"As you were," Roy said.He kept walking, but tried to make his displeasure obvious.

He entered his inner office but left the door ajar.He was curious to hear how this conversation played out.

Breda lowered his voice—not low enough—and said, "Look, all I'm saying is, with all the kid's been through, it's a miracle he hasn't gone off the rails, you know?He could've easily gotten onto alcohol, or…something worse."

Falman said, "Didn't he have health problems a few years ago?Sleep problems?"

"Ed's grown out of his insomnia, according to Alphonse," said Fuery."I'm with Breda; the fact that Ed hasn't completely lost himself in coping mechanisms is…miraculous.Impressive, I suppose."

Roy got up to close the door, finding himself growing irrationally frustrated and angry.He knew what they were trying to say and what they meant; their hearts were in the right place.They were proud of Ed.They were happy that he was okay, and they recognized that given the circumstances, that wasn't easy.

But what the hell did they know about Ed, or Ed's process of coping?The fact that people like this, Ed's friends, unthinkingly _bought_ the composed facade that Ed presented were the reason that Ed kept trying to sell that image in the first place.Roy hoped that could be true; he did.That since Ed was still functional in society, obviously he had zero problems in his personal life, and had made a full recovery.But _assuming_ that was the mistake Roy had made before, and he wasn't going to make it again.When Roy had last seen Ed, Ed had been consumed with crippling depression.And everyone around him, including Roy, had assumed he was fine, because they wanted to believe that he was fine.Roy would love to believe that Ed had made a complete recovery, and had overcome the addiction to the dangerous coping mechanisms he'd fallen into.

But Roy was realistic.

Ed was fiercely independent, and he was good at hiding things, and that wasn't exactly a recipe for recovery.Roy had carefully examined Ed's forearms at the wedding, and had founds no signs of the tragic marks that had once covered them.But that didn't mean that Ed was healed.When Ed and Roy had been in a relationship, Roy had caught a glimpse of the horrors that lived in Edward's head, and the living hell of trying to find a way to deal with them.

That had been three years after the loss of his alchemy.Now, twice that amount of time from the Promised Day, Ed was a different person.But it would have been naive of Roy to approach Ed as though he had lived a normal life.

Edward had _lived hell_.And he had done it over and over, and he had done it as a child.Edward needed to be handled with unspeakable gentleness, much as Ed himself would heatedly deny it.

The morning was only uneventful for the next two hours or so, after which point it continued in its efforts to make his life difficult.It announced this intention with the unmistakeable sound of Edward Elric's voice in his outer office.

Roy immediately became both apprehensive and undeniably excited.So Ed had initiated contact after all.But then, at work in the middle of the morning, without calling first, it couldn't be for anything too pleasant.Roy doubted that he was just stopping by to say hi, especially from the particularly grumpy tone of his voice.Hadn't Alphonse and May Chang gotten in last night?Well, May Chang could wear anyone out.Perhaps he was just tired.And who knew, maybe he'd simply stopped to wish a good morning to his friends.Maybe he'd even brought coffee.

Riza opened the door to his office, ushering Ed in, and Roy could see that Ed definitely wasn't bringing coffee.In fact, he looked as though someone had stolen all his coffee this morning, and maybe his book, too.Which Roy knew from experience produced the single most sour look in the universe.

"Edward to speak with you, sir," said Riza.

Before Roy could thank her, Ed said, "Look, I'm here to talk about shit I don't want to talk about."

Roy nodded Riza her permission to leave and sat back in his chair, folding his hands."Edward.Good morning to you, too.Please sit."

Ed was clearly unamused, but he swung around a chair and seated himself in it, sliding down into it the way he always used to.He shrugged off his jacket, a beaten-up brown leather garment that was cropped to his waist, and draped it over the chair arm. 

"What can I do for you this morning?" said Roy, using his most pleasant voice.

"Cut the shit.I told you, I don't want to be here."Ed paused and ran his hands over his face.

Roy had to assume that it was about Xerxes, for Ed to look so miserable.

"I'm here to talk to you about Xerxes—"

There it was.

"—as a favor to Ling."

Roy kept his expression measured."Go on."

Ed sighed histrionically."I'm not a fucking ambassador, and I'm not going to keep passing notes between you, okay?The fucker sent a letter with Al and May and begged me to do this, so here I am."

Distantly, Roy wondered if he would ever have that sort of sway over Ed again, or if he ever had it in the first place."How are Al and May?" he said, hoping to lighten the tone into something slightly more congenial.This rang too sharply of the interactions they used to have when Ed was in the military.

Ed clearly wasn't going to fall for it."They're great.But really, Roy, please just let me say my piece and get out."

Roy sat back obediently.

"Ling has no interest in taking Xerxes for Xing," said Ed."But he does have an interest in keeping it out of the hands of Amestris.He thinks that trying to 'reclaim' it displays ugly greed on the part of Amestris."

"And I'm sure he knows all about greed."

Roy had meant it to be quippy, but anger sparked in Ed's eyes."Trust me, the irony isn't lost on us," he said, venom lacing his voice.

God, why couldn't Roy just keep his _mouth_ shut?

"So the Führer and all of… _you_ guys," Ed said, waving his hand around to assumably indicate all politicians, "are perpetuating this toxic shit about how Amestris is the greatest country in the world, how nothing can stop the development of Amestris, and that's why you should clearly have Xerxes.Ling just thinks that your ideals are concerning at best—dangerous at worst—and that your motivation is shit.So I guess in essence his question to you is: why can't you just stop all this?Why do you need Xerxes?"

Ed seemed to be finished, so Roy took a deep breath and sorted his thoughts.

"May I correct you on a few points, Ed?"

Ed raised his eyebrows and swept a hand in invitation.

"Primarily, I don't think it's fair to lump in every politician as having the same opinion on this matter.In fact, differences on this front are some of the primary points of contention between General Baasch and I."

Ed nodded politely.

"Baasch has taken Führer Grumman's proposition to an extreme.That's his selling point.He tells the people that he'll 'make Amestris great again', and that's what the people want.I won't disagree with you; Baasch is greedy.I assure you, though, I don't have the same motivation.

"But you need to understand that this is not a new proposal.The Führer has been perpetuating this line of thought for a few years now.Popular opinion is quite set.People see me for the work I've done in Ishval.People see me as the restorer, one who can lend the aid of my power and the nation's power, while still being respectful of the native people.The only reason it has been possible to have any success with Ishval, of course, is due to the efforts of people like Miles and Scar, and my personal relationship with them, rocky as it may be in some areas.The restoration of Ishval went more smoothly than any of us could have hoped for, and people are hoping that I might accomplish that sort of peaceful arrangement regarding Xerxes.After all, the only Xerxian citizens are you and Al, and people know that we're allies.They're hoping that we can all cooperate."

"Well, I'm not going to cooperate, so…you can give up on that," said Ed, crossing his arms.

He could be so petulant sometimes."You can't just bow out of this, Ed," said Roy."In a way, your and Alphonse's opinions are the only ones that matter."

"Yeah, well then talk to Al," said Ed."He disagrees with you strongly.Is that better?"

"I'm not going to tell you to pick a side.The fact that you haven't rushed to do so indicates that you aware of what a multi-faceted and sensitive issue this is.I simply mean to encourage you not to selfishly refuse to even give the issue your consideration.Frankly, I'm surprised, Ed.I didn't think it was in your nature to prioritize compromise at the sake of your ideals—"

Ed leaned forward and slammed his hands on the desk, nearly causing Roy to jump.

"Can't you see the position I'm in?" said Ed, on the edge of yelling."People I care about are tied up in this.I have no obligation to politics; I have an obligation to them.I couldn't give a fuck about Xerxes, if it didn't mean that it had you and Al and Ling at each others' throats.You want to disrespect my homeland and my heritage because you couldn't keep your grubby colonialist paws to yourself?You go right on ahead.Just leave out my brother and my—and Ling."Ed noticeably cut himself off from giving Ling a label, which was a bit suspicious.

Roy cleared his throat."Well, I think that was a bit enlightening, Edward," he said, his voice quiet and calm."I suppose you are on a side after all."

Ed scrubbed a hand over his face and made a noise of frustration.He leaned forward."Listen, why not just drop it?What's so hard about that?Do you care about the new land that much?Drop it, and all of your problems go away."

Roy leaned forward as well."There is no 'just drop it.'I'm either for it, or against it, and if I'm against it, I will. not. get. elected."

Ed's eyes narrowed for a second, the tension in the room palpable.Then he snorted and leaned back in his chair."Well, good to know where your priorities are."Ed gathered his coat and got up, making for the door."I think that's about all I have to say," he said in his most blasé tone.

Roy rose from his chair and circled around his desk, beating Ed to the door.He snapped it shut before Ed could leave.He had to suppress a wince as it slammed harder than he intended it to, and he could practically see his team outside giving each other their "well then…" faces.

Maybe he crossed a line.Ed was seething was anger, mere inches from Roy's face.Roy plowed forward. 

"You don't seem to understand," said Roy, his voice icy."If I don't get elected, Baasch will.If I don't get elected, I can't change _shit_."  
Ed blinked at him, the coarse language having the desired effect of shocking him into listening.

"I know you don't agree with my methods," Roy said."I know you think I'm nothing but a sleazy, manipulative politician.But I care about the future of this country more than I care about pandering to Emperor Ling Yao's hissy fit that Amestris is taking a step closer to his borders.It's childish, and I refuse to yield to it."

Ed hesitated, staring at Roy in silence for a moment.Roy resisted the urge to smirk as he saw Ed's pupils unmistakably blow wide.

Then Ed cleared his throat and looked around."Well fuck," he said."Guess you're not as _easy_ as Ling thought you'd be, huh General?"And with a wink and a self-satisfied smirk, he opened the door and was gone.

Roy…needed to adjust.And quickly.It had never been like this: Ed spitting double entendres and flirting and leaving Roy blinking and searching for a retort.Ed had always been the sputtering, blushing teenager; razor-quick intellect until any manner of _suggestion_ entered a conversation.Not anymore, apparently.

What was more, Roy felt entirely unsuccessful in his quest to get Ed to express his opinion.Or rather, he'd been too successful; now he knew Ed's opinion, and he had more of a problem on his hands than before.This is exactly what he'd been worried about.Ed thought that the restoration of Xerxes would be disrespectful.Hopefully Roy had managed to get a bit of his point across about Ling, but Ed's relationship with Ling was such a wild card.

At the wedding, Ed had called him his best friend, but today he'd hovered on the edge of calling him his…something else.Could they be…involved?The thought had only occurred to Roy in the vaguest of theoretical senses, but now he was beginning to think that he may have miscalculated.Wouldn't that explain a lot?Maybe that was the missing piece in what he'd been noticing about Ed: the confidence in his gait and the tilt of his hips, the unquestionable way he owned his sexuality while firmly holding his independence.

Was he taken?

The thought was actually sort of painful.Roy knew that Ed had other people, but this was different.He'd never really considered what would happen if Ed found a different life partner, if Ed just fell in love, for good.

There was no use overreacting, though, before he knew the facts.Maybe he could ask Alphonse, who was historically at least a bit more forthcoming with information than his brother was.Roy was under no pretenses that Al would be on his side in this, but he could at least be assured of diplomacy.The opposite could be said for May Chang, from what he understood, but it was worth a shot.

However, any inquiry into Ed and Ling's personal relationship would have to wait until Roy figured out how to resolve the gaping, dank mess that was the Xerxian controversy.

There was a lot to go through.So Roy sat himself down at his desk and put his head in his hands and just—thought.

The thing was, at the heart of it Roy honestly believed that the issue with Xerxes had been blown entirely out of hand.It wasn't normal for the public to become so invested in something like land expansion.Sure, it had been quite a while since the borders of Amestris shifted at all, but it wasn't like anyone was proposing war.Xerxes was empty land.

Empty.As in, no people, no government, utterly unlivable.Really, in Roy's opinion, it was just a glorified sandbox, stuck in the middle of nowhere.Roy himself would never have proposed reclaiming the land for Amestris.(And it had to be _reclaiming_ , because _conquering_ rang too stiff and aggressive for this situation.)

Granted, Roy was frustrated with the whole ordeal.He had been frustrated when Führer Grumman first suggested it, crossing his damn fingers that the idea would just fade and die out.

But _no_.Because if General Baasch was involved, nothing could ever be resolved peacefully.

It was Baasch that introduced the idea to the public, made it part of his campaign, thought nothing of exploiting the people close to the issue.He took what could have been the peaceful rejuvenation of a broken land and used it as a platform to assert Amestris's— _superiority_.As though he really believed that Amestrians were fundamentally greater than any other race of people; as though Amestris was going to be some world power; as though Amestris's domination was not just possible but _inevitable_.Which, besides being dangerously arrogant and swellingly prideful, was just—

Idiotic.

But the public just ate it up.They devoured all that bloated patriotism like they were starved for it.And in a way, Roy had come to realize, they were.

The damage wrought by Bradley and the other homunculi had been catastrophic to the Amestrian government; Roy had never dared underestimate that.What he had underestimated, however, was the toll it had taken on the average citizen.Sure, most of the people were glad enough to have Bradley gone, but his ideas had been permeating their minds for years—newspapers and radios, speeches given and laws passed, his words had gotten to them, one way or another.

Sometimes, six years was a long time.When Roy saw Ed, the graceful twenty-two year old, minimal traces of the angry sixteen year old left behind, six years was a lifetime.

But not in politics.In politics, six years was a minuscule blip on the history of a nation.

Six years didn't change the fact that the citizens of Amestris had lived and learned under the umbrella of the Bradley Administration.They were the same people.

Colonialism was a difficult thing to eradicate.Superiority was harder.And this was what Roy was dealing with.

It might just be enough to get Baasch elected.

So no, contrary to what Ed seemed to believe, Roy couldn't just decide to have no stance on the issue.

And contrary to what Ed seemed to be able to get through his skull, Roy was trying to help.

If Xerxes was going to be a target for Amestris one way or the other, maybe there was a way to do it while still being respectful to the surviving Xerxian citizens who may be opposed to to the idea.

Namely, Al.Al had been the first one to raise a stink about the whole business to Roy personally.He'd brought up issues that Roy hadn't even considered.Xerxes may have been gone, but that didn't mean that the culture wasn't worth preserving.Yes, the country had personal significance to him and Ed, since their father was inextricably tied to the history of it, but it also had religious, historic, and scientific significance.To bulldoze it, he said, would be unthinkable.To use it as an outpost of sorts for Amestris, a foothold until they could conquer the entire desert, was just plain disrespectful.

The last thing Al had said, and the truest, was "Ling won't like it."  
Oh, he didn't like it at all.

As much as Roy could blame Baasch for elevating the issue beyond need, it was nothing compared to the fuss Emperor Ling Yao had kicked up.Roy hadn't even corresponded with Ling personally regarding any of this.He didn't need to.

The _extent_ of the _histrionics_ was _baffling_.

And this coming from the man who was Edward Elric's C.O. for four years.

Ling didn't want Xerxes.He didn't care about Xerxes.He just didn't want Amestris to have Xerxes.And if that wasn't the most childish thing that had ever been perpetuated by a world leader—

And what's worse, so that people would pay attention to his fit, Ling had closed down the Amestrian-Xingese tea trade.That's right, _tea_.The thing that no one cared about until they couldn't have it, and then all hell broke loose.If things continued on this trajectory, Ling could be closing down trade routes altogether.He might close the border.All because Amestris was considering claiming a plot of _neutral_ land that no one cared about.

Well, Roy saw very little sense in it.And he saw even less sense in the whole matter turning people against _him_.Yes, Riza was with him.Havoc was with him.His team was with him, and that was what mattered.But both Major Miles and Scar, in the south, had expressed their displeasure with his stance.Major Armstrong expressed hesitancy at best.As for General Armstrong, well, she refused to communicate with him in any way, so who could know.

And Alphonse…oh yes, Alphonse had made himself very clear.

Roy just—he wasn't having any more of it.It was silly.It was petty.He was going to stand his ground and wait this out.This didn't have to lose him any friends, and this especially didn't have to lose him Ed.Ed didn't realize it yet, but he was angry with Baasch, not Roy.Maybe he was even angry at Ling.But Roy was doing his best to create a compromise.And if he didn't think he should get faulted for that, well, that was justified, wasn't it?

Roy felt clear-headed for the first time in days.Maybe it would take others some time to realize it, but Roy was doing the right thing, here.He was doing his best.

But this work day wasn't quite done with him yet.

It was nearly five o'clock— _so_ nearly five o'clock—and Roy really thought he'd manage to make it to there without further disaster.He was wrong.

Riza entered at 4:53 and quite disappointingly failed to comment on Roy's, frankly, laudable progress in his paperwork.

"Sir, we're about to head out, but there's something I think you'll want to know before I do," said Riza.

"Yes?"

"General Baasch is planning on making a trip to Xing."

Roy didn't do a spit-take; he didn't drop his coffee mug and let it shatter dramatically; he didn't pull the shocked face that he was pulling internally; he just blinked at her."I'm sorry, what?"

She exhaled."Surprising, I know.He states that he has already organized with Emperor Yao to hold negotiations in the Xingese court, and that he feels sending a representative would be impolite."

"When will these negotiations be taking place?"

"He departs in one week."  
Roy rubbed his temples.Of all the things he didn't need right now."—Okay.And the Führer's opinion on this…?"

"You'll have to ask him that yourself, sir," said Riza."But if you ask me—"She paused, and he nodded his approval for her to continue, "—the Führer is waiting to see what you'll do, sir.If these negotiations go well for General Baasch—if he is in any way able to patch up this problem—it will have a negative effect on your chances at the Fuhrership."

"I understand," said Roy, suppressing a sigh.

For a moment, he sat in silence.For a moment, he allowed himself to run through every possible outcome, every possible strategy.This was a critical move.He needed to play this correctly.If he misstepped, it could mean failure on multiple fronts.

Every possible line of action seemed to have a negative outcome.How could he maneuver this to aid his campaign, while not aggravating the situation in Xing, not to mention Ed—

Unless—

Unless.

"Lieutenant Colonel."

"Sir," she replied.

"I'll be attending the negotiations in Xing."

She didn't look nearly as shocked as he might have expected.

"Very well, sir," she said."I'll have arrangements made."

Roy blinked at her."Wait, your'e not going to…strongly advise against this?"

"I think it's a wise decision.It's about time someone sensible sat down with Emperor Yao to try to reach an understanding, and that person is not General Baasch."   


"No, it's not," said Roy, feeling suddenly twice as sure of himself with Riza's support."If he met with the Emperor himself, he would probably start a war within fifteen minutes."   


Riza didn't respond, just gave him a small smile—the kind meant to communicate agreement rather than emotion—and turned to leave the room.

"Ah, Lieutenant Colonel?" said Roy, before she passed the door step."If you could refrain from mentioning this to the Elrics?"

Now her smile took on an understanding glint."I won't tell Edward, sir."   


"Very good," Roy said, letting out an exasperated sigh as she disappeared out the door.Apparently, it really didn't matter how much effort he put into subtlety: he was still an open book when it came to Edward.At least, to Riza he was.

He wished it wasn't that way.He wished that Ed was the kind of thing he could keep secret, private, unexposed.But he knew that Ed didn't deserve that.

When Ed left him those years ago, just walked out of his life, it was this—this exact thing—that he'd spent hours and hours rolling around in his head.That maybe if Ed hadn't had to get so _tangled_ in everything, the fallout would never have happened.

Roy had had lovers before Ed and been capable of managing them perfectly.It had always been so natural to juggle people with work, personal with professional, private with public.He'd fancied himself quite the pro at it, actually.

But then Ed had stomped right into Roy's life and mucked everything up.It was just that Ed was so tied to every _part_ of his life, not just romance and not just sex, and Ed had been his subordinate and Ed was friends with Riza and Ed was _everywhere_.And Roy had tried his dead level best to keep those boundaries, to keep juggling, but maybe that was the problem?Maybe he really had been insensitive to Ed, maybe he really had been too controlling, too minimizing.Maybe he'd treated Edward wrong, maybe there was something he could have done different…

No.He had to stop this line of thought, because he knew by experience that it was crippling.

No.Right now, he had duties.Edward was important, but he was entirely secondary to his upcoming journey to Xing and all the preparation it would entail.First politics, then relationships. 

Roy would damn well keep juggling until the world crumbled around him.There was no excuse for less.

 

He spent the rest of the day trying to determine which appointments were absolutely necessary to squeeze in before he left, and which could be put off until he got back.In his experience, even the most "time-sensitive" of matters could be delayed for over a month with little consequence but mild grumbling.There was one appointment, however, that could not be put off.

He needed to have lunch with Alphonse.

In theory, this shouldn't be an intimidating prospect.Al was always a decent and polite person, for as long as Roy had known him, and there was never a conversation with Al that wasn't pleasant.

Except, there had been _one_ conversation.It had involved Al grabbing fistfuls of Roy's shirt and shoving him against a door, yelling at top volume, calling him a bastard and threatening to rip a hole in his stomach.And then it had involved Al saying that Roy wouldn't be seeing his brother again.Even after the entire display, Roy had doubted his sincerity.

He shouldn't have.The next morning, they were both gone without a trace.

Alphonse Elric was terrifying.

In all honesty, Roy didn't know what to expect for his lunch with Al.Even as he was driving to it, he had no idea how it would go.Did Al still hate him?Would he be cold and detached?Over the past two years, Roy had seen Al more frequently than he had seen Ed—which was to say, more than _not at all_ —but their interactions had been coincidental and brief each time, mere polite exchanges on their way to meet other commitments.This was the first time they had made an effort to see and speak to one another.And with the added conflict of the Xerxian controversy, Roy thought it would be wise to expect a degree of hostility.

When he first caught sight of Alphonse, though, as he approached the entrance to the restaurant, he checked himself.Al looked bright and considerate as always.

"General!It's good to see you again," said Al with a smile.

Roy shook his hand."You as well, Alphonse.I'm glad you could come today."

"Me too," said Al.He sounded genuine enough, certainly.Roy let himself relax a measure.

As they were lead to their table, Roy took in the boy's appearance.Firstly, he looked older, his golden eyes sharp and his jaw defined.He was an inch or two taller than Roy, but that was hardly new.Secondly, his hair had grown long, and was tied up neatly in a bun behind his head.He was dressed smartly, a Xingese-style outer jacket lending sophistication and elegance to his appearance. He was truly a beautiful person.

When they were seated, Roy opened his mouth to make a polite inquiry about Al's trip back to Central, but Al spoke first.

"General—I'm sorry—before we begin, I think it might be a good idea to put a ban on any conversation relating to Xerxes."  


That caught Roy off-guard, and he simply blinked at Alphonse a few times in silence.

"I know we disagree," continued Al, "and I wouldn't want that to ruin our afternoon.That's all.There will be time to discuss politics, but I'd prefer if it was reserved for later."

Al sounded decisive about it, and Roy didn't see any reason why not."I think that is an excellent idea, Alphonse.Like you said, there's always more than enough time to discuss those matters in their proper time and setting."

Al nodded, pleased with this response.

Roy tried hard to shake the feeling that he was under interrogation.It wasn't fair to Alphonse to not give him the benefit of the doubt, especially this early into their conversation.

"So Alphonse, I am very curious to hear about your time in Xing.How have you enjoyed your time spent there?Are you still traveling, or have you settled down somewhere?"

"Oh, I travel all around the East," said Al."There's always somewhere new to explore, something new to learn.And I just…I want to see all of it," he said, his face splitting into a smile."There's so much to see, and I dread to think that I wouldn't get the chance to explore as much as possible, while I'm able."

In spite of what he felt just a few moments ago, Roy felt a wave of fondness pulse through him as Al continued to speak about his travels.He recalled quite suddenly a cold suit of armor and then a frail, skeletal frame, barely able to stand—and he began to feel shameful for any resentment he'd ever held towards Al.Alphonse Elric may have just been the most courageous, most perfect, most _good_ person Roy had ever met; if he and Roy had had their disagreements, well… who did that _really_ reflect upon negatively?

"But then," said Al with a wistful sigh, having described to Roy his path through the East over the past two years, "I like to slow down sometimes, too.After all, if I'm ever going to learn anything, I need to at least stay put enough to be taught.And there is _so_ much to learn."

Al was cut off as the food arrived.Roy spared a smile to their waitress, and judged it a proper time to enter the conversation.

"Speaking of learning new things," he said, "I've heard interesting talk of new and innovative sand alchemy by a foreigner in the East.We thought it could sound familiar."

Al smiled at his plate, his cheeks going a bit pink."Yeah, it's true," he said, modesty blooming at the mention of his own accomplishments; that was one trait he and his brother did not share."You know, I just spent so much of my time trudging through sand and hating sand.And then I thought, you know, the alchemical theory can't be that different from plain earth, right?And so I messed around with it a bit, and here I am.I mean, I know I'm not the first one ever to invent and use sand alchemy, but you'd be surprised how elusive the science behind it turned out to be.So I suppose I've caught people's attention.After all, when you're crossing the desert to the East, the sand is a detriment to everyone."

Roy nodded."The ability to use your opponents' weakness against them is a great skill indeed.I'm impressed, Alphonse.I look forward to a demonstration sometime."  
Al laughed and picked at his food, more modesty.Roy took a sip of his wine.

"I have to wonder, though; has the alchemy's practice been in strictly scientific environments, so far?Or have you seen enough trouble to field test it?"

At this, Al laughed outright."You know, I thought that when I left brother for the first time, my life would suddenly become calm, orderly, structured…" Alphonse trailed off and shook his head with a laugh."Well, it turns out, I didn't know myself very well.Or May, for that matter."This last sentence was muttered with a raise of his eyebrow as Al took a bite of food, and seemed meant more for himself than for Roy.

Roy took note.He'd suspected something along this vein.He opened his mouth to comment—to _prod_ , really—but Al went on.

"So yes, that has taken up a good amount of my research for the past year.But I've also come along fairly far in the study of alcahestry, and I really enjoy it.Obviously, I've been at it for a few years now, but it makes all the difference having a good teacher."  


He was clearly referring to May Chang again."I'm glad your studies are working out so well with Miss Chang.Is this her first time traveling back to Amestris, since—?"

"Yes, it is!" chirped Al, needing no further indication that Roy was speaking of the Promised Day."I think she's enjoying being here without the threat of death always imminent and lives at stake, etc.Although, with May, who knows!She makes trouble for herself wherever she goes, you know."  
Roy laughed with Al.Really, though, he _didn't_ know that, as he had barely met May Chang, but this clearly lovesick young man wasn't thinking about that.Instead, he had a happy, far away glint to his eye that didn't need an explanation.

If Al was involved with May Chang, as he seemed to be, it could be a valuable missing piece to understanding Al's motivations in the Xerxian controversy.Clearly Al was immersed in Xingese culture, but if his heart lay there too?It could explain a lot.

A ban on _talking_ about Xerxes outright didn't include innocent gathering of information.

"You know," said Roy, forming his words cautiously, "it's been so long since I've met Miss Chang, but you speak of her so glowingly."

At that, Al's cheeks tinged pink, but he didn't respond.

Roy pressed a bit further."Not to mention, Ed already speaks of you two as though you were a couple.I'm merely curious," he said with a smile.

Al sputtered."I—um…she's very nice," he said, lamely.Then he immediately added, "I mean, yes, you should meet her.Again.Like you said.I think you'd like her.She's a lot like Ed, in some ways."His eyes went wide."I mean, not that you—and Ed…"

Al cut himself off from speaking entirely, sighing and putting a hand to his temple."Sorry," he said."I'm not good at subtlety, with this."He glanced up and gave Roy a rueful smile smile."I always end up making it worse."He took a deep breath, straightened his back, and tried again."May and I _are_ very close. We are in a relationship.But I just don't want people getting ahead of themselves and expecting wedding bells or something—we're so young."  


"I understand," said Roy, saving the boy from more floundering."And I think that displays wisdom and maturity on your part, Alphonse.I look forward to becoming acquainted with Miss Chang."

Al smiled a genuine smile."You know," he said, "I'm glad to be home.I think that you will like her, and Riza and Ross, and the Hugheses, and all the rest.Winry, too."

They took a moment of companionable silence to enjoy their food.

Then Al said, "But General, I've been so impolite, talking about myself this whole time.How have things been in your life?"

Roy smiled."Not been impolite so much as saved the conversation from tedium.I'm afraid my life has been much the same as always.The only thing remotely interesting has been placed under a speech ban for now," said Roy, holding a finger to his lips with a playful smile.

"Ah yes, I'm sorry about that," said Al in a way that seemed placatory and not like he was very sorry at all.

Roy hesitated."However.A situation has arisen quite suddenly, and I've made last-minute plans to journey to Xing at the end of this week for negotiations with Emperor Yao."

The ban wasn't on Xing, after all.

Al blinked at him, and Roy was nervous for a moment about what his reaction would be.

"Oh.Interesting," said Al."Well, that's good."

Roy could practically see the gears turning in the boy's mind, and he looked so very much like Ed for a second.Roy was glad of it; Al wasn't being polite, he was honestly considering whether he liked this development or not.

"This is very good," said Al decisively, punctuating it with a nod."I've been saying for a while that what this whole situation needs is a good civil, honest conversation with the people involved.It's so difficult to have sincere correspondence when Xing is so far, and everything goes through so many layers of communication.It's good you'll have the chance to talk to Ling now."

First Riza's approval and then Al's; Roy must have been on a roll.

It surprised him, really, how much Al's words relieved him.Had he been looking for Al's approval?No, he hadn't.But Al was smart, and not just like Ed—Al was clever.Clever with people.

In fact, Roy thought with a half-smile, he would make an excellent politician.

"I'm glad you think so," Roy said, trying to convey his sincerity."I feel the same way."

"Of course, Brother will try to go with you, when he hears," Alphonse said, as though that were obvious."Or, knowing him, he'll leave as soon as he gets the news and beat you there."

Roy blinked."But—he just got back.Why would he—"

"General, as much as it is not necessarily in my brother's nature to want to _control_ situations, he does like to have a _hand_ in them.And more than anything, he hates not knowing what's going on.The chances that he would be okay with his two—" Al caught himself, "uh, with you and the Emperor working out issues which involve him when he's not present are…very small."

"But he's stated very clearly that he doesn't wish to be involved."  


"You know Ed," said Al, shaking his head."Ed gets involved.I know he doesn't _want_ to, and I wish I could honor that, but I just don't think it's possible.Before this is over, he'll have had to take some sort of action."

Roy considered this.Al's assessment of Ed rang much truer than what Roy had been hearing from the man himself, and there was something oddly comforting about that.Yes, it was true, Roy decided.Ed would take action; action was in his nature.And as long as Roy was prepared for it, it could definitely be used to his advantage.

If he had any hope of being prepared for Ed's presence in the Xingese court, though, Roy knew he needed one crucial piece of information.

"Alphonse, I'm sorry, I really don't mean to pry," Roy began, sensing an immediate tension to Al's shoulders, "and if you don't want to tell me, that's fine.But I feel that if I'm going to try to organize diplomacy in a court with Ed and Emperor Ling, it would be very helpful for me to know…the nature…of their relationship."

Al peered at him, scrutinizing and wary.

"I only ask," said Roy, rushing to clarify, "because Ed has made a few comments to me over the past few days that indicate that he and the Emperor may have a more involved relationship than I was aware of.If it's to be kept private, I accept that.If it isn't, though, I simply want to avoid being uninformed."

Al appeared to consider this."I understand, General," he said.After a few more moments of thought and two bites of food, Alphonse cleared his throat. "To be quite honest, I don't…know."

Roy waited for him to continue.

Al appeared to be struggling with his words."Brother sees him…frequently.And it's not an easy journey to make, obviously.Their correspondence is very regular.And I happen to know that, at times in the past, they have definitely been…involved."  


"In what way?" said Roy, careful to keep his voice utterly steady.

Al gave him a pitying smile."In every way."

The undeniable implication was that Ed and Ling's relationship was—or at least had been—sexual.That was exactly what Roy had been hoping to avoid.

"But honestly, now," continued Al, "I just have no clue.It's just, I've asked Brother about this.A few times times, in letters and since I've been home.But I can't get anything out of him."

"He won't admit to anything?"

"He won't deny anything!" said Al, his frustration apparent."I ask, 'Are you in a relationship with Ling?''Kinda.''But is it romantic?''Yeah, I guess.''Do you think it will be permanent?Do you want to settle down with him?''Mm, maybe.''But do you love him?''Of course.''Romantically?''I guess.'What am I supposed to do with that?I just can't figure it out!"

Roy was torn between struggling to conceal a smile at Al's adorably exaggerated "Ed voice" and being very concerned with this unfortunate development.

Al composed himself with a deep breath and swept a stray lock of golden hair behind his ear."Look General," he said, sounding very tired all of a sudden, "I know that your and Brother's relationship didn't work out so well.And I know that you may have some bitterness against me for my part in ending it.But I just wanted to let you know all of this, like you said…so you could understand.If Brother is unforthcoming about the truth behind this relationship, Ling is an impossible steel wall.You won't get anything out of them, but you deserve to know."  


"Thank you," said Roy."And I assure you, I don't blame you for what happened with Ed and me.It was between us, and what happened was for the best."He did his best to sound nonchalant, like he didn't particularly care, but he knew he was failing."I only want what's best for Ed," he said quietly.

Al nodded."Me too.And I hope you know that I have utterly no hard feelings against you, General.I have a lot of respect for you.And if something were ever to happen again between you and Ed, I would have nothing but support for both of you.It just…wasn't the right time."  


"I understand," said Roy even more quietly, feeling very much like he was not fifteen years older than the man in front of him.

He considered straightening his back and turning the conversation to the weather, putting himself back into a position of power and safety.But he didn't know when he'd next have a chance to ask this question, and it was a question that continued to keep him awake night after torturous night."How is he?" he said, any hope of keeping his voice neutral gone.

"You've talked to him several times since he's been back, right?" said Al."He's been traveling a lot.I think he's glad to be home, but—"

"Yes, I've spoken to him," interrupted Roy, "and I've heard the rehearsed 'I'm doing very well.'But, Al.How is he?"

Now Al seemed to comprehend the full depth of Roy's question."Oh," he said, the noise barely more than a breath."Uh."He fidgeted for a few moments, licking his lips and righting the angles of his silverware."Thank you, General, for asking," he said, his voice quiet and delicate."For caring."He seemed, in that moment, unfathomably sincere."I don't…know," he admitted."He doesn't like to talk to me about it because he wants to keep me safe.He thinks that if he tells me that he's one hundred percent fine, I'll believe it."

Al took a deep breath."I've heard him up, a bit, at night.Since I've been back.So I'm a bit nervous that his sleep problem has returned."  
Roy nodded thoughtfully, resting his chin on a hand.

Al appeared to be struggling greatly."He's lost weight, since I've seen him last."

There it was; Roy had thought so.

"And I-I thought I might have been imagining it."Al's hand was trembling on the table, barely noticeably."But I saw him without his shirt on, and his–his collar bones, his back…he's lost weight," said Al, his brow folding.He put a hand to his mouth under the guise of clearing his throat, but it was clear to Roy that he was trying to suppress emotion.

It wasn't difficult to figure out.Al was concerned for his brother.Scared, even.Roy didn't know whether to be relieved by Al's emotion, in assurance that someone cared greatly for Ed's health and Roy wasn't just making it up in his head, or frightened himself, in that his fears about Ed were largely confirmed.

"Um…when I last saw him, he seemed so good," Al said, his voice carefully steady."You know?He seemed happy and energetic.And so I thought that he was really healing.And since I've seen him—it's not bad.It's not awful.But it's worse than eight month ago?And so now I'm not sure if he really got better at all, or if he felt like he just—just needed to hide it from me, you know?"

Roy nodded.

Al took a trembling breath."I don't know why I'm telling you this," he said with a weak laugh.

Roy opened his mouth to say something, but Al cut him off.

"No, no, I do know.You and Ed are…complicated, but I trust you.I trust you to care about him.And it's just—there's so few people, you know?"His voice broke with emotion on the last word, even as he tried to smile through it, and it just—

It broke Roy's heart.

All he could do was nod with a furrowed brow and wait for Al to go on.

After a few deep breaths, he did."I don't…I don't know what's going on in his head.But I do know that he isn't taking good care of his body.That's what I do know.That's the, the not eating, the not sleeping, the drinking—you know, he's not an alcoholic or anything, but I wish he wouldn't—and the…sleeping around."Al swallowed hard."And on the one hand, he can make his own decisions, and I don't want to judge him.I don't mind if that's what he wants, if that's what makes him happy.But I…I don't think that's what it's about."  


Roy searched Al's face.He seemed on the verge of saying something more, but ultimately pulling back from it.

He sighed and settled on, "Brother doesn't think very highly of himself.That's what this is about."With that, Al appeared to be finished speaking.

Roy let a careful breath.

"It breaks my heart," he said, softly.

Al nodded at his plate."I know," he whispered.

"Edward is such an amazing person."

"I know," Al said.

Roy considered his options.There were so many things he wanted to say, so many things he wished he could say.But he was balanced on the head of a pin when it came to Edward, and he couldn't afford to charge forward in a rush of emotion, only to end up making matters worse.

So he settled for a lame, "If there's ever anything I can do to help, please let me know."  


"Thank you," said Al."I'm sure most of this is…in my head.Honestly.It's not fair of me to assume all of this just based on a few restless nights' sleep and some weight loss.I'm just afraid for him."

"It's okay," said Roy."You're concerned for your brother's well-being because you love him.Thank you for telling me all of this, Alphonse."

Al nodded, expression cloudy in a way that Roy couldn't read.

"And if Brother goes to Xing with you," said Al, "just…keep an eye on him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> talk to me at occhiolysm.tumblr.com! Next chapter we'll be getting some Ling :O I'm really excited about it!
> 
> I mentioned this on my tumblr but i'm gonna TRY to update this weekly, but if not, it'll be biweekly. Always on Fridays though! Stay tuned!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ed's visits with Ling are always different. He doesn't know how it's going to go until he gets there. This time, the only thing he's sure of is that his exes aren't going to have a secret meeting without him, no sir.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um yeah I know this is a full day late (almost two…), it's because I'm definitely a mess who is incapable of comprehending self-imposed deadlines :,D This chapter is really long though, so hopefully that makes up for it?
> 
> I mean… it's really long, and I'm really sorry. I had a blast writing this chapter though, so hopefully you enjoy it!

Ed had sand stuck fucking _everywhere_.

He'd been trekking through the stuff for the last—fuck knew _how_ long—and he was ready to be given the damn royal treatment for his trouble.

He didn't _have_ to be here, did he?No, he didn't.And if it weren't for his damn world leader exes deciding to have a secret meeting out of the blue, he'd still be home with Al watching him make stupid lovey-dovey eyes at his girlfriend.He'd still be home, refreshed and clean, not dying from exposure and dehydration and exhaustion in the middle of nowhere.

But _noooo_.He was here, because someone had to make sure Mustang and Ling didn't strangle each other in the middle of negotiations.

And, well.He wasn't exactly in the middle of _nowhere_.

Actually, he was being lead by a royal escort into the midst of bustling Chun'Ye—the capital of Xing at the fucking heart of the entire country on his way to the palace.So yeah, kind of more than nowhere.

And he had to admit that the length of his journey had improved significantly since the development of the railway networks throughout Xing and the desert.It definitely beat riding fucking _mules_ the whole way.

And the escort had met him outside of the border, so he hadn't had any problem getting into the country, iffy foreign relations aside. 

Still.That didn't make up for having sand stuck in his toes and his pants and his belt and his sleeves and his _hair_.This was Ling's fault, and he wasn't going to get off easy for any of it.

Ed was brought through the great red gates into the outer court of the royal grounds.The first time he'd passed through those gates, he'd stopped in his tracks and spun in place several times, taking in his surroundings with his jaw hanging loose.Amestris simply didn't have anything like this.Amestris didn't even have a cheap imitation of this.

But this time, Ed was far more interested in what would await him inside the palace.His heart had begun thumping a bit disruptively a few minutes back, and he wasn't sure if it was in anticipation, anger, or apprehension.Maybe a bit of each?

When it came to Ling, there was a big murky patch in Ed's heart where there was supposed to be a label.Where other people were so clearly _brother, friend, enemy,_ or even _ex_ , Ling was just…a question mark.Ed could never predict how he would feel when he reunited with Ling after a period of separation.It was different every time.The murky patch was nothing if not unpredictable; sometimes joyful, sometimes bitter, sometimes lustful, sometimes neutral.Seeing Ling's face was a different experience every single time.

It turned out, this time, it was like a fucking breath of fresh air. 

Literally.Ed caught sight of him, descending the palace steps with his personal guard hovering about him, every movement laced with the elegance and grace of a cat—or maybe an…angel, or a hummingbird, or something that _floated_ —and Ed just…let out this _breath_.

And stopped walking entirely.The urge to sprint the distance between them and fling himself into Ling's arms was suddenly overwhelming, starting in the tips of his toes and clawing its way up through his whole body.He just wanted Ling to wrap him up in his soft robes and to make him feel wanted and _good_ , and that was pathetic, wasn't it?But he couldn't, and he wouldn't, because that would be humiliating.You know, more humiliating that standing in the middle of the fucking courtyard just staring.

No, he hadn't rehearsed this whole belligerent spiel in his head for nothing.He choked back the swell in his throat and marched forward towards Ling, determined to at least get in his piece.

Ling had this sort of easy smile on his face—not like he was ecstatic, but like he was almost content—and he stretched his arms out as he approached Ed."Edward, my dearest.What an honor to welcome you—"

"Hey, don't even," barked Ed, drawing his brows together and pointing his finger in Ling's face.His _annoying_ face.Which Ed was now quite close to."I'm fucking mad at you, okay?"Ling's personal guard had long since gotten used to Ed's shit and knew better than to perceive him as a threat, so they left him alone as he just plowed right on through it."You knew I didn't want to get involved in Xerxes shit—you knew—how could you put me in that position?Is that all I am to you?A conveniently-placed pawn?"

But Ling just tilted his head, a playful smile still on his face.Then he gently took Ed's face in his hands and kissed his lips chastely in greeting.

Ed blinked at him once, twice, thrice; his finger that had been pointing at Ling now hung there in stasis, the vitriol drained dry.It hadn't even really been a _kiss_.Their lips had barely brushed; it was less intimate than a hug or a friggin' handshake, but—

Before Ed was able to able initiate enough communication between his brain and his body to stop himself from moving, he was surging up into Ling's arms and dragging Ling's head down for an entirely different sort of kiss.

When they parted—not more than a few inches, drawing in wet, panting breaths—Ling grinned at Ed, his dark eyes full of mirth.

"So it's that sort of visit, is it?" he said, not in the hearing range of the attendants around them.And in Amestrian, no less, so there was no telling how many of them would have understood, even so.

Ed felt a twinge of guilt in his gut.He winced."I don't know," he muttered, taking up thorough observation of his own boots.

Ling drew him in against his chest and wrapped his arms around his back, and Ed, in fucking spite of himself, forgot every grievance he had with the idiot. 

The thing was, though…

Here was the thing.

For Ed, there was this particular kind of sickening feeling whenever someone talked about Ling like he wasn't _real_."Emperor Yao" or "the Emperor of Xing" or worst: just "Xing."

Ed had always known that Ling was going to be Emperor some day, and in some sense he thought he'd understood that, but this part of it had never occurred to him.It had never occurred to him how odd it would be to hear people talking about Ling without ever mentioning his name…some foreign fear, some political factor. 

And there was something so inherently settling in being able to touch him, smell him, remember that he was real.Ed would remember to be mad at him later if he could just, just have this one moment.Just a moment, to let himself be held and cherished.Just a fucking minute to forget the world outside of the place where Ling's fingers were petting the fine hairs at the base of his neck.

"You've had a long journey, dearest," said Ling, after Ed's poor, precious second was up."Let's go get you cleaned up, hmm?"   


Ed nodded against Ling's chest."M'still mad at you, though, jerk."

Ling giggled as he released Ed from his arms in favor of taking his hand and guiding him into the palace."That's okay.Let's talk about it after your bath."

As they walked up the steps and entered the palace, Ed finally got a hold of himself a bit, the shock of seeing Ling starting to wear off.

"Ling, the reason I'm here is to prepare you for the negotiations happening in a few days."

"Hm?Oh, I'm prepared," he said, sounding amused.

Ed looked over at him, studying his expression.He didn't know why he bothered; it was impossible to read, as ever.He hesitated."…Mustang is coming too."  


"I know, I received the news yesterday."

"Oh, that's good," said Ed.Ling had to have known that that was the reason for Ed's visit, but he chose not to comment, and they walked in companionable silence.

Ed tried to size Ling up without doing so obviously, which was rather difficult when walking beside someone.It had been a good few months since he'd seen him, and, well—

Now, Ed had become quite the connoisseur of the male form over the last few years.And while it would probably be an exaggeration to say that Ling had one of the more _impressive_ physiques he'd ever seen, he did have one of the more _appealing_ physiques.Ling probably hadn't grown any taller since Ed had seen him, but he had certainly grown more graceful. He was always growing more graceful.He wore light, open garments, similar to what he'd always worn, instead of the heavy robes he was required to wear for court and public appearances.

And, well… hey.

It was just clear the guy didn't sit on his ass all day.That's all Ed was _saying_.I mean, he was no _Roy Mustang_ , but—

You know what, that thought just wasn't going anywhere good.

Ed turned his attention abruptly and intentionally to his surroundings as Ling lead him through the halls of the palace.He couldn't deny that, for all the shit and corruption that happened inside these walls, for all the stress it caused Ling, this palace was one of his favorite locations in this world.

He found that the sentiment provided by his subconscious brain was _'I'm glad Roy gets to see this with me.'_ Which was…

Hah, how did _that_ get there?That wasn't going to be allowed to take root in his conscious brain.

The ceilings were high and supported by sturdy pillars; one could almost imagine that the palace had roots, piercing the ground and clinging there, so unmovable it seemed.And yet, it somehow managed to still be—delicate.Bright.The molding on the pillars and ceiling was crafted so intricately and masterfully that Ed couldn't even begin to fathom the amount of time it must have taken.And no matter how many halls you passed through, how deep into the heart of the palace you ventured, the pink dusk never stopped filtering in.

The whole thing was airy, heady.And that was always how it was here.There was always this atmosphere about the palace; always seemed to be a faint song being sung in the distance, or wind chimes dancing, or gongs banging softly or some shit.

People walked around like they were respectful of the place they were in; like people acted in the cathedrals in Creta or how Ed _wished_ people would act in the libraries in Central.Conversation was hushed.Not necessarily whispers all the time, but like they were aware of the smallness and insignificance of themselves, maybe.They knew they weren't the first people to walk these halls, and they wouldn't be the last.

It wasn't like Central, where every old white man blustered around in a swirling cloud of self-importance; Xingese nobility were reserved, careful, respectful.

Now, of course, Ed had long-since stopped letting that give him the impression that there was no corruption or evil happening in those whispers and bows.There was fucking plenty, that was for sure, if half of Ling's stories were to be believed.But Ed had to respect the way these people were woven into their history, their tradition.

And that was the real difference: Central was always as modern as possible.It wasn't artful.It was about politics, and no one was under any pretenses.But here…

Yes, there were politics.There was rotten, rotten corruption, there were power-hungry men willing to trample on those beneath them.But Ed had to honestly confess to never having met one.

For one, this was to be owed completely to Ling.Ling didn't let those men in his court.He'd told Ed before how careful he was to keep out a very particular type of man: the type that needs attention and power.

Instead, he strove to give most of his power to the very old, the very experienced.The white-haired.They understood more, he said.And the rest of the power, he gave to people his own age.People that can learn from the elders and become them.It was the men in their thirties, forties, an fifties that caused trouble; young enough to be loud and obnoxious, but old enough to feel the need to overcompensate.

Huh, maybe that was Ed's problem.He really needed to stop going for guys that were out of their twenties.

Well, whether it was Ling's good choice in company or just Xing itself, this was a place where tradition was respected and preserved.It made the whole palace feel…lifted.Like, when you were a part of history, there was no need to be loud.Or to hurry.Or to yell at someone for not being what you wanted them to be.When you were focusing on the preservation of tradition, history, religion—

Well, as Ed had found, you have your fucking priorities in order, is what.

Never once within these walls had he been yelled at and called the awful, vulgar names he was called in other countries.Not even by the old men.Part of that was Ling's intolerance for any hostility against Ed, of course.But honestly, when ego wasn't involved, people just didn't have the same kind of problems.

Once he'd met a couple here that had to have been in their sixties or seventies; two men that had been together for decades.Ed had sat and spoken with them for hours and hours: the only experience he'd had like that in his life.

So was it Xing, the country?Or was it just Ling?Ed had heard implications that the palace hadn't been this way before him; at least, not for a while.When the throne went to the most powerful, it was just a gamble of character, each time.Everyone was aware that they'd drawn the fucking lottery with Ling, and they damn well should be aware.

Some of Ling's guard separated from them once they reached the staircases to the upper levels of the palace, and they were now joined by only three attendants.The notable absence to the party was Lan Fan; Ed had to assume that she was lurking about somewhere, safely out of sight.In his experience, she was always close enough to protect the emperor, but far enough to spot a threat coming.She'd probably turn up eventually.

Ling lead them to his rooms, which were on the east side of the palace.Ed had his own suite of rooms, near Ling's, though not as expansive.They were also notably—thankfully—completely separate in form and distance from the chambers of Ling's…women.Which—

Some days, Ed was indifferent to the idea.Others, honestly, the thought made him a bit queasy.But he couldn't change it, so there it was.That was Ling's life.It was Ed's decision to be a part of it or not, and here he was.

But Ling didn't lead Ed to Ed's rooms; he took the hall toward his own.

"I've had your rooms prepared, dearest, if you'd like," said Ling, intentionally casual.He was giving Ed the chance to opt out.

"It's fine," said Ed, matching Ling's nonchalance.As though that weren't loaded.As though it were, 'I'll come to your rooms for convenience, since we're already here…'As though it weren't communicating intentions; the problem was, Ed hadn't really decided if he wanted to communicate those intentions yet.He just didn't want to be alone.

It was difficult to ever have privacy in the palace.In fact, it was damn near impossible, especially around Ling, with servants and attendants and guards always hovering, on call.But it didn't stop Ling's chambers from feeling solitary and safe, a haven from the outside world.

The decor was extravagant, to say the least, but spacious enough not to feel over-cluttered.Ed just sort of felt afraid to touch anything, lest the very prick of his finger cause irreparable damage to some priceless artifact.The curtains were probably embroidered with actual spun gold, and the vases were probably one million years old, if he had to take a guess.

Nonetheless, Ling always navigated it gracefully.He took Ed's outer coat—the one stiff with mud and sand—and handed it to someone, presumably to be taken away and washed.Ed imagined the rest of his clothes would follow once he changed out of them.

While Ling was speaking to the servant in Xingese, Ed wandered out onto the balcony.This, the balcony, was probably his favorite location in this whole fucking country.It was wide and open, made of fine-cut marble, and it looked out over the whole capital city.

The sun had nearly finished setting, bathing the world in a coral glow and glinting gold off the odd reflective surface.The color reminded Ed of well-grilled fish, or Al's blush when Ed teased him about May, or the lamplight on the evening of Havoc's wedding.He was starting to like this pink-y orange-y sunset-y fish-y color.

Ling joined him at the edge of the balcony, and gently laid his hand over Ed's.

"Dearest," he said, and trailed off.He switched to Xingese and said, "I'm unspeakably glad you're here.In my arms again."

"In your arms is the only place I want to be," Ed responded, also in Xingese.

Then he shifted up to his toes and kissed him.Ling deepened the kiss and enfolded Ed in his arms, fulfilling the sentiment.

Kissing Ling was always like being wrapped in a blanket.It wasn't like fireworks going off in his brain, it wasn't like butterflies in his stomach.It released endorphins, sure, but more than that, it was—calm.

It was safe, nice, okay.

And maybe that was enough.Maybe that could be enough for their whole lives.After all, Ed hadn't really felt sparks with anyone for a long time.Really, not for—

Two years.

"What would you like, dearest?" said Ling in Xingese."You can do whatever you like."

Ed took a deep breath."I just want to—" get _clean_ , scrub away the sand and sweat with a _vengeance_ _—_ "take a bath."

Ed didn't even noticed that he'd forgotten to answer in Xingese and switched back to Amestris until Ling responded in kind.

"That sounds good," he said with a smile.With a hand on Ed's back, he guided them both toward the bathroom."May I wash your hair?"  


Ed smiled, thinking of Ling's fingers massaging his scalp—and he was the least religious fucker on the plant, but damn if that wouldn't be _heavenly_ —when his heart suddenly seized up.

He halted completely as a thought dawned on him and immediately struck him sick to his stomach.

"No, I'll just, I'll wash it myself," he muttered, casting his gaze to the ground as Ling turned to peer at him in innocent confusion.

"That's okay," Ling said, carefully, cautiously."I'll get the water started, shall I?"He took Ed's hand.

"No, just—"Ed wriggled out of his grip, which was probably a _mistake_ , a fucking mistake, because now Ling wasn't even attempted to veil his concern.

Ed stood before him, gaze fixed firmly on the floor between them.He was aware of his own body language betraying him as he folded in on himself, hunching his shoulders and crossing his arms. 

Ed cleared his throat, had to get the words out, had to make some attempt to salvage this."I'll just.I'll just take one by myself.If that's okay."  
Great.Very helpful, Elric.

Ling stared at him with those soft eyes, that furrowed brow, and Ed was wrought with guilt.

"Of course that's okay," he said.His voice was bright, but his eyes were full of worry and suspicion."I'll have a servant fill the tub, and you take as much time as you need.When we're finished, we'll go to dinner.How does that sound?"  


"Good.Great.I'm starving."Ed laughed, trying to play it off, but he knew well that they were far beyond that point.

He could feel Ling's eyes on him as two servants lead Ed to the next room.

Part of his brain screamed 'Just tell him!Show him!He can help!'But the other part of his brain assured itself that he could deal with this himself.It was selfish to involve other people in his own problems, and it was unnecessary.This was under control.

The servants lead him to the fucking enormous washroom with the fucking enormous bathtub that was approximately the size of a small swimming pool.They filled the tub with steaming water and stirred in some sweet-smelling salts, and then he was left alone.

The room was covered in mirrors.

Normally, Ed avoided mirrors.He tried to avoid looking at his own body in general.But ignoring his own reflection was going to be a slightly more difficult task now that he was faced with a full-length mirror at literally any angle he turned to.

And today, maybe he deserved it.Ed's gut twisted with guilt over how he'd just acted to Ling—that wasn't fair, was it?He should have handled that better.He should have been clearer, earlier, he should've—

He should've been a better person.He should've been the person they all believed him to be, Al and Roy and Ling and Winry and all the people he cared about.They all believed he was _better, recovered, strong_ —  
But he wasn't.

He stared dead at himself in the mirror as he peeled off his dirty clothes.He forced himself to keep staring. 

This was who he was.And if this was who he was, he didn't get the luxury of pretending to himself that he didn't exist.The motherfucking reality of his own fucked-up mind and equally fucked-up body was harsher punishment than anything he could do to himself.

For a minute, he left his pants on and pretended he was someone better.

Then he removed them carefully and studied his appearance in the mirror.

The cuts on his hip bones weren't especially fresh, just some brownish lines layered over the old, pale lines of scar tissue.His thighs bore the most recent ones, scabbed and jagged and maroon.Some of the scab had torn as he'd taken off his clothes, and red beads of blood were bubbling up.

It was difficult to pinpoint what had triggered the latest episode; it was always difficult.He'd had multiple episodes just since he'd been home; more than the last month put together.After the wedding, after reading Ling's letter, after he had a nightmare that Al refused to come home because he'd rather be with May than deal with his pathetic, fucked-up brother.

After his interactions with Roy, when Ed had yelled at him and crossed his arms and glared when all he'd really wanted to do was throw his arms around the bastard and never ever ever let go.

But that was fucking pathetic.There was no way Roy would want him anymore.

Roy had moved on.Of course he had.He didn't want some broken, fucked-up kid who had to rip up his own body just to lessen some of the pain inside.There was no way he'd ever want Ed, this way.Not again.

Ed lowered himself into the bath gently—it stung it stung it stung—and leaned his head back against the tile.

He imagined a world in which he was good enough for Roy.A world in which he was a whole person, an okay person.The kind of person Roy needed and wanted; the kind of person who didn't have hell living in their mind; always blackness, blackness, dragging at their ankles.

The kind of person who didn't cut themselves.

He imagined that Roy would run his fingers over his whole body, in a way that was nothing more than impossibly sweet and gentle, and he imagined that he had no scars.His skin was clean and his head was clean.

But he wasn't that.

He was dirty.He was broken.

 

By the time dinner arrived, he was okay.At least, he was getting there.

Ling had given him something nice to wear: Xingese garments, but not the kind that were weird or hard to put on or had weird fastenings that Ed didn't understand.Just simple, clean pants and a comfortable robe-thing that tied around his waist and was easy to move in.

His hair had been done up in an intricate twist-thing—when he was younger, it would've mortified him to do anything _interesting_ with his hair, but he'd long-since decided that _interesting_ beat out _boring_.If he was gonna keep this stupid hair and not cut it, he might as well see how many shapes it could get into.

The dining room was just as opulent as any other section of the palace.It was on the ground floor, in a huge room with ceilings that were _sofuckinghigh_.It was open to the rest of the palace by way of gaping corridors rather than doors that could be closed and locked.Overall, the opposite of private.

Ed couldn't bring himself to care once the food was brought out.

If Xingese food wasn't the best shit on the planet, it was pretty fucking close.He was pretty sure dumplings were a better invention than the entirety of the Amestrian political system, and the Xingese one for that matter.Dumplings were the shit.

Fortunately Ed managed to get through two and a half plates of food before the conversation turned to…well, to the actual reason he was here.

"Look," he said, putting down his chopsticks and sighing.Ling gave him rapt attention."What is _really_ so awful about Amestris skipping into the desert and making, like a condo there, or whatever?It's not really going to hurt you."

Yeah, so what if he was playing both sides.So what if he was playing the devil's advocate.They both needed to hear the arguments, and they certainly weren't going to listen to each other.

Ling rested his chin in his hand and was silent for a while."It would be foolish of you to underestimate Amestris," he said quietly, in Amestrian."They're power hungry, and far, far worse: they're colonialist.They see Xingese people as lesser.And those who don't see us as lesser at least see us as some 'exotic' foreign creatures, mystical beings.Not humans.There's no telling how much damage they could do under that mindset."

"Do you really think Roy would do that?" said Ed.

"I haven't spoken to Roy," said Ling."I don't know.He's not Führer yet, dearest, and…power changes people."  


"It won't, not for him," said Ed, shaking his head for emphasis.If there was one thing he had implicit faith in, it was that Roy would be the best fucking thing to ever happen to Amestris.Some people couldn't handle the power, but he—he could."He won't do any of the stuff you're afraid of."

"And if he's not elected?"  
Ed swallowed and fiddled with the tassels on his napkin.

"If you say that Mustang is a good man, I believe you," said Ling."But I am the Emperor of this nation, and I need to make arrangements for the worst case scenario.What about this Baasch fellow?Is he as reliable as your Roy?"

"No," Ed muttered, intent on splaying each tassel out on the table to make a pattern.

"There, you see?" said Ling."I don't have anything against Mustang, dearest.But I have millions and millions of lives on my shoulders—do you understand?—and I cannot bring them to war."  


"War's not on the table."

"Yes, yes, but war doesn't just get _put_ on the table, don't you see?"

Ling had switched to Xingese halfway through that sentence, likely without realizing it, and Ed struggled to keep up with the translations in his head—Ling talked fast.

"It isn't just thought up and then proposed on the spot," said Ling."It's the consequence of many bad decisions leading up to it."He paused and studied Ed's expression."Do you understand?"

Ed nodded.

"I hoped you would," said Ling, the tension settling out of his shoulders once again."And if I may ask, apart from being an intercessor between sides, where do you stand?"

"Please don't ask me that," said Ed.

Ling smiled."Okay.I won't.Are you done with your dinner, dearest?Would you like to go for a walk in the garden?We can talk some more about why you're angry at me."He said it with such unflinching pleasantness that Ed couldn't help but laugh.

"Sure.Let's do it."

They rose from the table; Ling offered his arm, and Ed took it.Under normal circumstances, that would _never_ have happened with _anyone_ , of course.But they were miles away from home, and who gave a fuck, right?

"Plus you have to tell me if Al's been a little shit to you since I've seen you both last," said Ed as they walked through the corridors.

Ling laughed."Oh, I don't see much of Alphonse when he's in the country, only little visits.He doesn't like me as you do.He's mean to me," he said, giving Ed his best pouty face.

Ed snorted."Al?Mean?"

"Well, he's nice.But he's mean.He says, 'Ling, if you keep bothering me in my studies, I'll have to reconsider whether or not you really are good enough for my brother.'But he says it nicely."

Ed laughed."Passive-aggressive," he offered.

Ling appeared to consider this; clearly he was unfamiliar with the term."Probably," he decided.

They reached the outer gardens on the northeast side of the palace, the ones Ed could stroll through for days and never see enough of.Now, Ed wasn't really a stroll-through-the-garden kind of person, but he always found some time in his visits to spend here.

They ambled down the paved walkways, arm in arm.The glow of the lanterns mixed with the last brushes of daylight to make Ling's bracelets glint an entirely new color.

"So, do you want to talk about why you're angry?" said Ling.

Ed hesitated."I'm not angry anymore," he said.

"Why is that?" said Ling, amused.

Lowering his voice, Ed said, "Because, millions and millions of lives.I get it."  
Millions and millions of lives, and Ed was selfish enough to get pissy because he had to have one conversation with his ex that he didn't want to have.Ling was a better person than him.

The walked in silence for a few minutes, accompanied by the sounds of the wind chimes and the crickets and the fountain and their own footsteps.

"Ed, I love it when you're here with me," said Ling, very softly.

Ed grinned."I love being here with you."  


"Yes, but—"Ling's words caught, and he went quiet.

"What?" said Ed, looking up at him.

"Nothing," said Ling with a wide smile."It's just nothing."He played with a few strands of Ed's hair that had fallen out of the tie, onto Ed's shoulders.

"Edward, your hair has gotten very long, hasn't it?I think it's longer than mine."

"Maybe," said Ed.That was a pretty impressive speed of subject-change, wasn't it?

"Can I brush it, please?Sometime."

Ed chuckled."Sure, Ling."

"Al's hair has gotten long too, hasn't it?I think it's pretty, what do you think?He told me you have a new sword, a rapier.Did you bring it?Can I see it?"

And for the rest of the evening, Ling prattled on about little topics, flitting from one to the other as he pleased.It was empty conversation—the weather had been pleasant, last week he saw a panda, Lan Fan said something funny the other day—but Ed couldn't deny that it was calming.

That night, he slept in Ling's room.Ling didn't make any advances, waiting for Ed to make the first move.

Ed didn't.

Maybe he should have, but he just wasn't in the mood.And yes, it was more complicated than that, but that was all he could process for now.Sleeping with Ling was nice, comforting, fun—and there'd been times when he'd craved it—but now he just, didn't.

Was it because Ling slept with women too?Well, Ed had slept with women on the odd occasion, so it wasn't that.And they'd never been exclusive, so it wasn't that.It wasn't jealousy, it was just…

It just wasn't much.

But that was all he could process for now.

So he slipped between the silken sheets next to Ling on his huge-ass mattress and begged his brain to let him have a good night.

It must have listened to him, because he only woke from nightmares twice, and the second time wasn't even that bad.

 

The next day was when they were all supposed to arrive: Baasch, and Roy, and presumably some sort of accompanying _entourage_.Ling had meetings with his advisors for most of the day, so Ed was left to wander the palace grounds.

It was pretty good; he walked to the highest floor to see what the best view was and then came back down to explore the outer courts.He found men building a fountain, which was cool.He'd never seen a fountain get built before.So he hung around there learning how the water gets piped in and learning all of the Xingese terms involved in fountain making.

He met back with Ling for lunch, who informed him that the Amestrians were set to arrive around dinner time.Ling would receive them in the throne room, and then they would all move to the dining room to eat.

"I have no doubt the conversation will turn political before long," said Ling, swiping up the last of his noodles with a pair expertly operated chopsticks."If you aren't averse to being present at dinner, I was wondering if you might translate for me."

"The fuck do you need a translator for?" said Ed."You speak Amestrian better than most Amestrians, at this point."  


Ling smiled."Oh, I just like to be difficult," he said lightly.

"I'm going to take that to mean, 'There is a major strategical advantage in the other party letting their guard down in their native tongue and using it to speak privately to one another.'"

"As always, you know me too well," said Ling, eyes narrowed in a snake-like smile."It's true I speak Amestrian well enough, but they don't need to know that.It's best not to divulge that sort of information until necessary."

Ed considered Ling's offer.He had half-planned not to even greet them with Ling, as the concept of meeting the bastard in that fashion made him slightly nauseous.Then again, if the concept of having to navigate the dynamic between himself, Roy, and Ling was already making him nervous, then maybe he just had to buck up, because he was in for a _long_ week.

And, in fact, it made him even more nervous to think that Roy and Ling would be interacting without him.This whole thing was fucking crazy.

"Okay, I'll do it.I'll translate for you," said Ed."But you know that Mustang knows you can speak Amestrian."

"Well then I imagine the whole ordeal will be rather frustrating for him, don't you think?"

Ed matched Ling's mischievous smile. _Now_ they were talking.

The palace's preparation for the guests couldn't be rightly labeled as 'bustling'; they seemed to have this down to a science.Even Ling displayed no apprehension or uncertainty concerning the event, and Ed was reminded of what he said the other day: "I'm prepared."

Ed realized it was something of a foreign concept to him, having never felt prepared for a fucking thing that had ever come at him in his life.Maybe it ran in the family.Whenever there had been guests for dinner in Resembool, Granny and Winry would erupt into a sudden tizzy of cleaning and _rearranging_ the fucking _furniture_. They'd passed it onto Al, whatever it was, because he also flipped his cute-ass blond lid every time it was suggested that someone might step foot in their (incurably) shitty house.

But then, they didn't have hundreds of servants to make beds, etc, so that probably had something to do with it.

Either way, Ed was grateful that Ling was prepared for his guests, because Ed certainly wasn't.Pretty far from it, actually.

So he did what he usually did in these scenarios: psyched his brain into believing that he would know what to do when the time came, and then stop thinking about it.

It worked like a fucking charm!

(It didn't, but this was a necessary part of the psych-out.)

Ed followed Ling around as he changed into his formal robes and had his hair pulled back into a slick bun and golden bracelets clasped around his wrists; watched as he began to transform from just 'Ling' to 'The Holy and Exalted Emperor of Xing,' who would greet the guests.Of course, the transformation was incomplete as long as they were alone together, Ling joking and giggling and teasing and being himself.In fact, the contrast between Ling's current appearance and his manner would've been jarring if Ed hadn't been forced to get used to it a long time ago.

When they returned to the throne room, Ling took his seat on the throne and Ed stood beside him, scanning the room once more for any sign of Lan Fan amongst the gathering assembly of Xingese court officials and guards.Ed'd assumed she would've shown up by now.

"Hey Ling?" he said, within their hearing range and no one else's."Where is Lan Fan?I haven't seen her?'

"Oh she's here.If you don't see her, that means she's doing her job well."

"Point."

"Edward, before they get here, may I braid you hair?I've just learned a new braid, and I've been dying to try it on your hair."

If anyone knew the real shit that the Emperor of Xing spent his actual time on, they would probably renounce half his titles or something.

"Sure, Ling."

Ed knelt in front of Ling as he combed his fingers through Ed's hair, sweeping it over to one side and arranging it in a thick and ornate, though rather messy, braid.When it was done, it fell over Ed's right shoulder, and he examined what he could see of it.

"Wow, Ling, this is nice.Thanks."

"You're welcome!" Ling said, sounding delighted."Now I can look at it all night and maybe actually get through these negotiations without strangling someone, yes?"

Ed laughed, because it was funny, but it was probably also unfortunately insightful.Ed had never seen Roy and Ling in the same room before (well, actually, that wasn't true for multiple occasions, but it felt like each one was so extenuating a circumstance that it didn't count) but it seemed like, left alone to solve a problem, they would probably kill each other.

Hell, even hundreds of miles separated from one another, they'd almost killed each other already.

This was going to be a long week.

After the braid, Ling was quiet, and Ed wondered if it was some sort of method-acting shit to get into the character of Emperor.Maybe it was, because when it was announced that the Amestrian delegation had entered the outer gates of the palace, Ling every bit looked the part.

So much so, actually, that Ed felt a chill down his back when he glanced over and saw his frustrating, dumbass best friend completely replaced by…well, by the Emperor of Xing.The Son of Heaven.The Lord of Ten Thousand Years.The Holy and Exalted One.

And whatever other titles that Ed was supposed to remember, probably, as his interpreter.

But any hope of remembering his proper Xingese honorifics—or conjuring up any rational thought at all, honestly—flew out the window when the Amestrians entered the throne room.

The first thing Ed noticed was that there were, what… twelve?Fifteen people?Which was hugely fucking unnecessary as an entourage for two men, neither of whom were a head of state yet, but hey.That was Amestrian tax dollars at work for you.

The second thing he noticed—and the third, and fourth, and the only thing after that—was Roy.Even from this distance, when the details of his facial features could barely be distinguished, Ed found it impossible to wrench his eyes away.

He'd known it was going to be weird: a clashing of worlds, and all that.But Ed was surprised to discover that his overwhelming feeling wasn't 'Damn, this is awkward,' it was more along the lines of, 'Look, Roy!Do you see that molding, it's from the second century!How cool is that!Isn't this place neat?'

Ed's heart was thumping and his stomach was doing these flip things, and _god_ why did this not happen with anyone else?

It didn't happen with _anyone_ else, even though Ed had looked and looked and looked.Honest, he'd tried.

And he knew where this feeling came from, of course—"butterflies"—it was the release of adrenaline and cortisol and the diversion of blood away from the stomach, and it was part of fight or flight.

Fight or flight.Wasn't that funny?Because your body literally perceived attraction as a threat.

Well, if Roy and Ed's relationship hadn't proved that damn true, nothing would.

Ed was jarred out of his daze when Ling was formally announced to the entire room using all his official titles, and the whole Amestrian party bowed low.

And then Ling was speaking and shit, shit, he should've been prepared and alert and not getting distracted by Roy fucking Mustang, _shit_ —

"His, uh, His Majesty…welcomes you to his court, and hopes your journey has been pleasant," Ed stuttered out.

Wow, great first impression as translator, Elric.

He chanced a glance up and—fuck—met Roy's eye for a split second.Roy opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, he was cut off by the man Ed assumed to be Baasch. 

"Majesty, our journey was indeed agreeable," said the man in a tone of over-exaggerated importance, "and we offer a thousand thanks for your hand of hospitality toward us.It is an honor to be welcomed into your court."

Ed surveyed the man as he spoke.Baasch was every bit the Amestrian stereotype, that was certain; he was tall, taller than Roy, with a stocky build and a fair complexion.He was almost certainly older than Roy, in his forties probably, but Ed couldn't be sure about that.Mustang never looked his fucking age, so who knew.

Ed translated Baasch's words to Ling, (even though the fucker clearly didn't need it, and this whole thing was for show) and Ling inclined his head toward Baasch in calm acknowledgement.

Sometimes Ling was a scarily good actor, which reminded Ed of another person he knew.Who happened to be in his room.

What was Ed's fucking problem that he kept picking men like this?

He translated Ling's response into Amestrian: "His Majesty assures that the honor is all his.Now, attendants will show you to your quarters, so that you can prepare to share the evening meal with us in the dining room."

He had to translate a few parting pleasantries back and forth as everyone made to leave, and he made the mistake, once again, of looking up at Roy.

Roy was looking at him, too, and they exchanged a glance, although Ed couldn't even begin to imagine what the bastard must be thinking.It seemed like Roy was probably in the same boat, because the only thing Ed could read from him was a sense of confusion.

Ling was looking at Roy too, and he leaned the short distance over to Ed and muttered in Xingese, "You were right, he does have a great ass."

Ed had _not_ been prepared for that.If he'd had a drink, he'd have done a spit take.Instead, he could just _feel_ his face heating up, and he turned away quickly so that Roy couldn't see it.Ling simply sniggered lightly, and turned to go, a shepherding hand on Ed's back.

As they were leaving, Ed snuck one last glance back at Roy to see him turning away with a raised eyebrow, tugging his coat sleeves straight.His expression might almost have read as smug if Ed didn't know it better: annoyance.Roy's "these goddamn kids" look.

The dinner was only to be attended by himself, Ling, Roy, and Baasch; the latter two showed up after the designated thirty minutes were up, accompanied by the expected personal guards.Even that small margin of time had a vast improvement on both of them, as they looked refreshed and professional, the evidence of their long journey washed away.

Roy had his hair swept back, off of his face, like he did when he was really trying to look impressive, or formal, or mature, or some shit.Ed was of the opinion that it did make him older—which is what the bastard wanted?Presumably?—but not like the wrinkly saggy old, just more head-of-state-looking.So that was something.

Of course, that was pretty much countered by the fact that it was all going to fall in his eyes over the course of the evening anyway, so what was really the point?

The dinner itself was…interesting.Despite the fact that the food set before them was twice as grand as the meal Ed and Ling had shared the evening before, Ed knew immediately that he wouldn't be able to enjoy it half as much.

Honestly, it wasn't nerves.And it surprisingly _didn't_ have a lot to do with the fact that Roy was around to scrutinize his every move—Roy had seen him pig out before, after all.And besides that, the bastard seemed to be too busy conversing with, y'know, the emperor of the largest nation in the world to have time to stare cryptically at Ed.How dignified of him.

No, it wasn't that.Oddly, the one Ed really felt scrutinized by was Baasch.

Having never met the man before, it would be logical of him to be confused by Ed's presence here, of course.But Ed knew the difference between "curious" and "judgey."He also knew what kind of reputation he had among these sorts of people, which gave him a sneaking suspicion that whatever assumptions Baasch was making about the situation were not overly flattering.

Weird vibes aside, though, Ed's more present issue with the man was that he literally would not shut up about himself.

Ed barely even got a chance to _touch_ his food for having to translate pointless, driveling self-accolades and grand accounts of Baasch's own accomplishments to Ling.When he was pretty sure the man couldn't see him, he would accompany the translation to Ling with a roll of his eyes.For the most part, Ling didn't even respond, just inclined his head in polite attentiveness.When he did reply, however, it was either so thickly laced with profanity that Ed had to do impressively speedy edits, or had literally nothing to do with the matter at hand, forcing Ed to make up some distinguished reply that he guessed would be appropriate for an emperor to say.

Did it make Ed's job a hundred percent harder?Yes.Did it save him from dropping dead out of sheer boredom?Probably that too.

He and Ling weren't alone, though—Ed had been sensing frustration rolling off of Roy in waves at Baasch's idiocy all night long.After nearly two courses, Roy entered the conversation for the first time.As soon as he opened his mouth, the entire dynamic of the room changed.(Because fucking _class_ , that's what.)

"Emperor Yao," he said, "this is not my first visit to your illustrious country, but it is, unfortunately, the first in a long while.So many improvements have taken place under your rule.I congratulate you on four years of a peaceful reign."

As Ed translated this, Ling's eyes got that snakelike glint to them again.He flicked a glance to Ed and said, "Charmer," in Xingese.Then he looked back at Roy and said, "Thank you for your congratulations; the four years of my reign have been blessed by the gods.I hope this visit of yours will inspire more of its kind in the future."

Ed translated this, leaving out the first bit.

(The fact that Ling was giving him something sincere to translate now spoke volumes about where his respect lay.)

Roy said, "Of course.And I hope that in the future, we may have the favor of being graced by his Majesty's presence in Amestris."

"Perhaps," said Ling, with a tilt of his head."We shall see what the gods have in store for our countries."

Ed continued to translate those sorts of over-flattering remarks back and forth, but his mind got distracted with wondering, as he often did, how much of Ling's ethnic religion he actually bought into.Ed wouldn't fault him for it, as religion was a part of Ling's culture in a way that it wasn't for Ed's, but it definitely seemed like Ling turned on Religion a whole lot more when he was doing emperor-y things.He never talked about it in private.Ed was sort of coming to the conclusion that Ling used it half out of obligation to his role as emperor—being, as it was, a religious position as well as a political one—and half as an instrument of manipulation.After all, when confronted with a foreign religion, people fell all over themselves trying to make sure they respected it properly and didn't say anything to offend, therefore putting them off their guard, on the defensive, vulnerable.

See?Ed was starting to learn how these sorts of people thought.

Inevitably, the conversation did take a turn for the political before too long.There was only so much overblown prosaic nonsense that could be traded back and forth before everyone was forced to acknowledge the giant, thick-skinned pachyderm in the room.

Now, Ed was aware that these were not the formal negotiations.Those would happen tomorrow, when everyone was rested and prepared.But when they did, for the love of all things decent, somebody had better gag that fat-mouthed ugly motherfucker, Baasch.The man could not shut his trap.

He went on and on about his political strategies regarding Xerxes, and how it could be established as a trade center, and that Amestris had all the resources necessary to "cultivate" it and "reclaim" it and, shit, the man _really_ had no idea how offensive anything he was saying was, did he?What's more, he spoke to Ling as though speaking to a child, explaining the situation with Xerxes as though Ling had never heard of it before.Sure, he managed to do so with all of the necessary decorum loosely— _loosely_ —intact, but he was clearly underestimating Ling in a major way.Ed knew that Ling would view this through a lens of strategical advantage, but Ed just couldn't.It made him angry.That was all.

But Baasch wasn't the only one talking.Roy got in what he could, attempting to soften the approach by explaining the benefits to Xing and to Ling himself if Amestris merely "made efforts" with Xerxes.Restoration and shit.Roy's words were different; smoother, more palatable, but his actual rhetoric was…not different enough.Ed kept waiting for Roy to phrase it just right, to click it into a place of sense, but it just didn't come.

It never came.

What if it never came?

It was the same narrative over and over, wasn't it?And the fact that Roy couldn't communicate this in a way that made it convincing to _Ed_ —who had no opinion—let alone to Ling—who had a strong one—meant that the Roy himself couldn't possibly buy into this.Not really.Not sincerely.

When Roy really believed in something, the bastard ran with it.He took hold of his _rightness_ with both hands, and he got high with it.And he let that carry him all the way to the finish line, to changing people and to undermining entire government systems, to upending the world if that's what it took.

This wasn't that.This was the fucker trying to get elected.

Who could blame him, really?Ed had fucking eyes, and they'd been forced to see more of General Baasch this evening than he needed to see for his whole life. This man was bluster and gluttonous hubris, he wasn't fit to lead the country.

But the fact that three of the most intelligent men on the planet were currently sitting at this dinner table—Ed took the liberty of excluding Baasch and including himself—and couldn't find any solution to this dispute that didn't involve taking Xerxes down as collateral was fucking unacceptable.

All of these thoughts converged in a manner of seconds on Ed as he was in the midst of translating a load of horseshit into Xingese, suddenly buzzing and chiming in his ears and his brain in a way that was so clear and _sensical—_

"No no no," he said, a sudden halt in the very midst of his previous sentence in Xingese."You know what?No.I won't support this."

Everyone blinked at him as they lagged to process that this was Ed speaking as himself, not the voice of someone else.For a fucking welcome change.

(Ed wasn't going to make translation a profession.)

And there was a section of his rational brain screaming, _Stand the fuck down, Elric!_ But there was another, much more convincing part that said, _You're making Al so proud right now, keep going!_

"You all wanted to know what my opinion was?Well here it is."

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Roy close his eyes and let out a small sigh—for Roy, the subdued version of banging his head against the table.

Ed took a deep breath, but he wouldn't lose his momentum."I won't let you disrespect the land of my ethnic origin.I won't let you spit on the land my father was born on.Xerxes isn't yours to capitalize on.It doesn't belong to Amestris.Xerxes should remain neutral ground."

He looked from Ling to Baasch to Roy, each one of their expressions unreadable past the thin layer of surprise.

"I stand with Emperor Ling," he said.And sat.

Short, to the point.Fine.Fine?Ed resisted the urge to glance back at Ling for reassurance.He couldn't even look to himself for reassurance; he was sure he wasn't processing the full implication of what he'd done, but he was glad he'd done it, regardless.Unlike most political shit that went on, Ed actually had some sway in this.Felt nice for a change.

It didn't last very long.

Baasch raised his eyebrows, took a breath."Well.You can stand with whomever you want.I, for one, am still trying to figure out how this applies to me, being that you are the only one here who is not a politician."

_What?_

Ed, stupidly, blinked at him, slow to realize that the man was trying to invalidate Ed's entire stance with as much condescension as possible.Ed's knuckles went white before he realized he'd gripped the table cloth.The silence hung tense.

"In fact," continued Baasch, "I seem to have a hard time remembering what it is you _do_ by trade, Mr. Elric.An alchemist, was it?Oh no, it can't be that.I remember hearing you have something of an impairment in that department."

Ed gulped down over 90% of his rapidly heating ire and communicated the other 10% in a bit-out, "Stop."

"A…traveler, then, is it?" Baasch talked like he'd been waiting for this all night."Is that what you do?Going from court to foreign court, seducing heads of state into perversion and then pitting them against one another?"

Ed started to rise from his chair, fists gripped tight and lunging for Baasch."You motherfucking—"

But before he could get out anything more, Ling shouted, "Silence!" in Xingese, standing to his feet in a graceful sweep, arms spread before him. 

Immediately, everyone shrunk back into their seats, compelled to obey in the imposing presence of the son of heaven.Even Roy seemed to retreat a few inches.

Ling looked old to Ed; beautiful, yes, and frightening, and awing, but _old_ firstly _._

Ling narrowed his full focus onto Baasch."General," he said, this time in clear Amestrian."You are in my court now.And while that is the case, I command you to address Edward Elric with all the respect you would assign to me.Disrespect him, and you are disrespecting me.Offend him, and you have offended me.And trust me when I say, that will not reflect positively on our negotiations."

Ling stood for a few moments, his gaze searing into Baasch as his words lingered in the air.Then he sat down as gracefully as he had stood, cat-like command of his body conveying wells of power that he was choosing to refrain from exercising.

Ed's brain was full of _What the Fuck_ with a side of _Fuck Yeah._

There was some sort of flattery or whatever in the fact that Ling gave up the strategical advantage that came from Baasch not knowing he spoke Amestrian in order to cut a more intimidating figure on Ed's behalf, but Ling always had his reasons.

Baasch was frozen for a moment, but he didn't risk too long a silence."Of course, Majesty.My deepest apologies."

Well, it certainly wasn't sincere, but it was clear that this had instilled in him some fear of Ling, if mixed with disdain, so that was an upshot.In all honesty, Ling's defense of Ed had done nothing to assuage his anger—as was always the case with third-party defenses—but it was at least slightly gratifying to see the bastard cowering in fear.Even Roy seemed to be a bit shaken by the display.

Ling addressed them all again, not bothering with Ed's interpretations anymore."Gentlemen, we have been speaking for a number of hours now, and it is late.Why don't we call this the end of the night, and reconvene tomorrow morning after a good night's sleep."

And that was it.There was no discussion; everyone rose from their seats and bowed to Ling, who nodded in return, and retreated in their separate directions.

Ed intentionally avoided making eye contact with Roy, having learned from the earlier evening's mistakes, but he knew Roy must find it suspicious that he was leaving with Ling instead of heading toward the guest wings.And from there, who knew what sort of assumptions he would make.

Some of them would be correct assumptions.

Why did that thought make Ed feel so sick to his stomach?

Regardless, he followed Ling up to his rooms.He knew, as always, that Ling wouldn't be offended if Ed chose to sleep alone, but somehow that remained the less inviting option.

Ling bade his personal guards goodnight.Ed watched them go, his mind a hurricane of intrusive thoughts, each one trying to claw its way to the surface in hopes of influencing action of some kind.And there was one image in particular that he couldn't shake, one moment from the night that replayed in front of his eyes every time he looked at Ling.

Ed stood in the middle of the floor, his hands hanging awkwardly at his sides, watching Ling slither deftly out of his heavy ceremonial robes.Ling was avoiding eye contact with him, and Ed couldn't begin to determine if that was intentional or accidental.

"Hey Ling?" he said, his voice sounding small to his own ears.

"Yes, love?" said Ling, turning around to look at him.He didn't wear his usual placatory smile, the events of the night obviously weighing heavily on his mind.His brow was set and his molars clenched, just a bit—but it was enough to be obvious to Ed that the privacy of Ling's own rooms was dissolving his facade.He was pissed.

Good.This was how Ed liked him, raw and unhidden.The mask was for everyone else; Ed wanted the real Ling Yao.

"What you did, for me… back there…" Ed said, finding himself resorting to hand motions to aid his stammering, as if that would somehow help the words crawl out of his throat, "what you said, that… that was—"

"Don't mention it, Edward." Ling turned his back once again as he laid his robes out flat on the bench by the window.

"Hey, pay attention to me," said Ed, stepping forward and spinning Ling around by his shoulder.

Ling peered down at him, waiting for an explanation, and as Ed looked up into his asphalt-black eyes, he was struck once again with the reminder that this was the Emperor of Xing, one of the most powerful men in all the world.Inches away from him.Instead of the realization being odd and off-putting, this time it was… 

Shit.

It was kinda hot, to be honest.

Ed laced his fingers around the back of Ling's neck and hauled him down into a kiss.Not the kind they'd been sharing for the past few days, either, tentative and soft—this kiss had purpose.Ed knew what he wanted, and he did his best to communicate each and every intention without speaking.

Ling lit up like a torch catching fire, wrapping Ed in his arms and running his tongue along Ed's.Ed knew he would—it was in Ling's nature to take charge, just as much as it was in Ed's nature not to.

Ed backed them both up, pulling at the ties of his own clothes as he went.When the backs of his knees his the mattress, he fell back onto it, wriggling out of his clothes as quickly as he was able.He didn't pull Ling down with him because he knew he wouldn't need to.

He was right, of course, and Ling eased down on top of him, helping Ed get rid of his shirt entirely and began making short work of his other clothes.

But then he suddenly separated from Ed, propping himself up on his arms."Wait, Ed," he said, his voice rough and his hair disheveled, falling around his shoulders, the tips nearly brushing Ed's chest."Are you sure you want this?"  


Ed panted up at him for a few seconds, and then he cracked a grin."Turn off the lights."

"Why?'

Ed stuck a hand down Ling's pants and dragged his head in close, whispering in his ear, "Turn off the lights."

Ling had evidently reached the end of his self control, because he leaned over, blew out the candles that rested on the bedside table, and the two were left in darkness.In the dark, Ed didn't have scars, inside or outside.He could be only what Ling needed him to be, at least for a while.

 

Later that night, as he lay draped over Ling, trying to fall asleep to the steady rise and fall of Ling's chest, he wondered how it was possible to feel so good and so miserable at the same time.Of course Ling made it good—Ling always made it good.Better than good.Unforgettable.But here Ed was, pondering the special circle of hell that was reserved for him for spending half the time picturing that it wasn't Ling.That it was…someone else.

Ed was a bad person.He was pretty sure of that.

 

Ed jerked awake suddenly in the middle of the night.It was dark out, the dull moonlight through the windows the only thing casting any light.

What had woken him up?It wasn't a nightmare; he wasn't sweating and choking and trying to claw images out of his head.

But it was something.A sound.The hairs on the back of his neck were prickling, his adrenalin levels were rising.Something was wrong.

He blinked and sat up slowly, realizing that Ling was awake too, sitting up next to him.He was still, breaths silent, but his eyes shown with fierce alertness.He was scanning the room, searching, searching, searching.

"What's wrong?" Ed whispered, his voice barely a breath.

"I don't know," whispered Ling, just as quietly.He didn't meet Ed's eyes, just kept staring into the darkness.

Slowly, carefully, Ling reached beneath the mattress to draw out two short swords, and Ed followed suit, retrieving his rapier from the floor, eyes flicking around him, trying to remain utterly silent.

Everything seemed still.The glass doors to the balcony were closed and locked, the curtains were still and undisturbed. Surely he and Ling couldn't _both_ be imagining a threat…?

Just as the thought crossed his mind, Ed noticed a flicker of movement outside the window.Or he thought so? 

He motioned for Ling to stay put while he slowly rose to his feet, creeping toward the glass doors, trying to discern in the dim light whether the shadow of movement was a bird, or a tree branch, or a curtain flapping in the breeze.

For a moment, everything was silent.

But that wasn't a curtain, was it?

Suddenly, the entire glass shattered inward as three hooded assailants vaulted themselves into the room.Amid the flying glass shards, Ed heard Ling scream for Lan Fan.Then they attacked.

Ed lunged forward, death grip on his rapier, one thought in his head: save Ling, save Ling, save Ling.

The men were larger than him, and each had swords of their own, and Ed was at a painful disadvantage, so he didn't give any of them time to think.His sword clashed against steel, and steel, and steel, as he fought to find the soft give of flesh. 

It was only a handful of feverish seconds before there were suddenly more people in the room, people around Ed, behind him—with him.Fighting with him.

Lan Fan.

One of the hooded men dropped instantly, taken by surprise at his target's sudden backup.Ed focused on the man in front of him, his attention honed in on the edge of his opponent's blade.On keeping the edge of that blade from his extremely _bare_ skin.Well, it was some small comfort that at least he and Ling were both wearing pants.

He landed a deep slice in the attacker's side, and the man crumbled to the ground with a cry.Ed took the small reprieve to turn and check on Ling.

He hadn't even turned around yet, though, when there was a sudden vice grip on his hair, and he was yanked to the floor by the man he thought he'd just incapacitated.His skull took the brunt of the impact, slamming into the marble floor so hard that he fought to stay conscious through blurred vision and ringing in his ears.

Luckily, he had enough presence of mind to roll out the way of the man, nearer to the wall with the broken window.He scrambled to his feet.He had to locate his rapier, it had to be here somewhere.

But it was too late.The attacker was upon him, and the man hurled a booted foot towards Ed's middle—the next thing he knew, he was tumbling backwards out the open window.

His senses seemed to slow.His breath left his body.Ling's voice screamed his name.He cast his arms out blindly, desperate to grab onto something, anything—

His right hand managed to grasp metal latticing attached to the wall.His grip stuck just well enough that when gravity yanked the rest of his body down, there was a sickening pop, and Ed cried out as he was forced to let go.

He hit the stone hard, his shoulder and side taking the force of the impact.

He was in pain—he knew that much—but he was too dazed to be sure where it was coming from or how serious it was.Could he stand?Could he fight?It didn't matter, he _had_ to fight.For his own survival if nothing else, since he had failed so completely at protecting Ling.

Ed looked up to the window just in time to see his attacker descending the wall after him.Ed tried to push himself up, gritting his teeth at the pain in his arm.He only managed to make it to his knees by the time the man reached the ground and ran towards him, blade glinting.

Ed, like a goddamn child, just covered his face, helpless, waiting for the blow to come.

And then there was a snap.

Heat.

Flame.

Ed opened his eyes to see his attacker burning alive, his horrifying screams piercing the night.

Behind him, watching the scene with cold collection, was the bastard himself.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> talk to me at occhiolysm.tumblr.com ! I'd love to hear feedback in forms of comments, questions, kudos, whatever you feel like! Thanks for reading!
> 
> on a side note, I decided while writing this chapter which ship is gonna be endgame, so that's a thing. It's not exactly a secret, and it's not the kind of thing that you'll only find out at the end, as of next chapter it'll probably stick with that pairing and not fluctuate. So I'll leave that reveal for next week, but if anyone would like to know which it will be for the sake of knowing whether or not to read on, just shoot me a message on tumblr and I'll let you know *thumbs up*


End file.
